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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Anatomy of a panic attack, or --

why I should have been born a carrot!***

As I stated on my Facebook page, I needed to get to a number of items I had been able to slough off last week w/ the extreme heatwave ... so, ok ... I drove down to Harrisonburg today and ran serial errands ...

... and yeah ok I had that usual feeling of some anxiety down in there somewhere, but was able to push thru and keep going, until

The hostess was walking me to a table @ Cracker Barrel and as I walked past the checkerboards set-up with two chairs on either side of a table, the thought occurred to me - I don't even have a friend I would call to come play checkers w/ me

That starts alot of anxiety, for me : being overwhelmed by how alone I've found myself in middle-age *** The carrot family apparently has 3,000 members, that include fennel that I gave to Brianne as a baby for gas, dill, caraway, et al .....

I did ok ... had lunch ...but it was closer to the surface now, this anxiety, this feeling of being overwhelmed; so I figured the best thing for me to do after I ate would be to drive home - good idea! I'd been out for a while, anyway, I was tired, I had items that needed to go in the fridge ...

I'm coming down Rt. 33 and I have the radio on -a Christian station, mind you! - and with a song that came on it just brought a question to my mind: when was the last time someone hugged me?  other than CoCo, and she's more a looker, leaner up against, and darting licker ;) - when was the last time someone hugged me???

When I realized it was Christmas, and here it was mid-July --

It's a good thing that I actually can drive and cry, ya know?!  (Don't worry - if I would have gotten to the point where I was hyperventilating, I would have definitely pulled over !)

I found out a long time ago that anxiety attacks last not so long, if I allow them to come on and not try to stuff them down ... so by  the time I pulled in my parking lot here, I was tired - and dry eyed ...

And that, my friends, is the anatomy of an anxiety attack by Jeannee!

2 comments:

  1. Oh Jeannee I have panic attacks once in a while as well i am sorry you feel alone I would so play checkers with you! Whenever I feel alone I make sure I spend some one on one time with God then I realize I am not as alone as I had thought. Hope your week is going better now! Love Heather

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    Replies
    1. Oh I love checkers! Hugs back to NJ, Heather!!!

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