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Saturday, September 29, 2012

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

"“I am sure the millions who died under Communism would not see the joy of celebrating the Russian revolution by a school 10 miles from Gettysburg.”

Marching Orders: A High School Band’s Communist Celebration | FrontPage Magazine

I Like You

Sperm-donor father of 43 children passed on genetic disorder | LifeSiteNews.com

Sperm-donor father of 43 children passed on genetic disorder | LifeSiteNews.com

This is a very serious disease!  It is probably more known to people as "the elephant man's  disease", altho there is a contemporary Guideposts writer who has this illness and writes about it extensively, Roberta Messner.

Facing my own crisis w/ healthcare

This is not a diatribe about how expensive it is, what's covered and what's not covered - believe you me! there are far better writers out there who have extensively covered that subject!!!  This is about my own personal problems w/ dental healthcare that I bunked into yet again today.  It is not so much a fault of one dentist or one secretary - if that were the case, you would just change dentists (which I've done, and which you'll see in my bullet list below, why) -- its more of a global problem with how healthcare looks at patients:

(1)  Antibiotics
       (a)  Just because I ask for antibiotics, does not mean I'm a drugseeker, for Chrissakes!  It means I know what it feels like to have an infection in my mouth, and what I need to do to treat it.  
       (b)  And then there was the dentist in Lexi who told me that the reason this is, is because of all these resistant strains that are coming around because of the overuse of antbiotics... when I started to say it was more caused by what is fed to cattle and chickens, I was expecting someone like my previous dentist, Dr Richard Noel, who looked at dentistry like a ministry, a two-way relationship - that even if he disagreed with you, he would respectfully listen to you.  This guy in Lexi started yelling at me - OH YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE!  While there were sharp instruments in my mouth and I was in horrific pain.  At the least it was a preliminary visit, so I was able to exit quickly enough and not go back there!
   (c) So here's my question: if it hurts now, and that means its infected, and I need an antibiotic, but you won't prescribe without seeing me, does that mean I have to wait a week until you look in there and agree with me, for pity's sakes?!  Does anyplace in dentistry have what doctors do - a nurse practioner type who can look at you fast if you don't need "the whole works"?
  (d)  You are aware, because I filled out your form, that I have preexisting healthcare conditions ... and one of them, at least, I feel, predisposes me to be suspectable to bacteria.  You don't know this?!  How educated are dentists???  If you do know this, why haven't you given me a standing order for antibiotics at my pharmacy?
  
(2)  $$$
 I realize you are a professional, who deserves to be paid ... but can we at least discuss $$$ when I'm not writhing in pain at your reception desk?!  (Of course, if Medi-nothing paid dentists the going rate, we wouldn't even be having this discussion ...)

(3) In Practice
When I first went to this particular dental office, there were two dentists.  I saw the woman.  We got along well; we developed a treatment plan that I said I needed time to think it over - my problem wasn't money, as I explained, but not having anyone in my life who could watch over me and help me out, post-surgery ... a short while later, I was stunned to see in the paper my dentist now in a different practice!  Never received a notice from her in the mail, nor did I receive a notice from the practice ... When it flared the time before this, I was in a desperate state and not wanting to travel over 16 miles one way by myself to an emergency dentist, I called the practice.  The dentist there - while never having seen me before - was very good about things ... but, still -- why did she leave?  why weren't the patients notified?  are you planning on getting someone else in your practice (because as a 'one-man-band' you are overwhelmed!)?

It just makes me feel like I'm in one of those old HMO plans where they assign you a doctor and you don't get a say in your own healthcare ... which I guess takes me roundabout back to the whole antibiotics issue!  For me, that's a larger problem with our healthcare: how every advertisement and book screams at you to advocate for yourself ... but when you do that, you bunk into:

(a) being patronized "you don't know what we professionals have gone to school for..."  attitude
(b) not being helped, anyway, until and unless it meets there specific protocols - which generally involves coming in for another office vi$it, at least

Socialized medicine???

Honey, all I want is healthcare that treats me like I have a brain and a say !!!!!!!!!!

City man harassed QVC host, police say

City man harassed QVC host, police say

For me, "a catalog on tv!" all started w/ HSN ... I was fascinated!  And it really helped during the times I was sick and bedridden .... And then came QVC!  And now, what have I found?  A website called tvshoppingqueens.com, from where I was linked to this article.  There are more tv shopping options than even I realized - as Desiree of Pull Your Socks Up! says - eeeeppppp!  :

HSN
QVC
JTV (Jewelry TV)
Rocks TV
ShopNBC
Shopping Channel (Canada)

Monday, September 24, 2012

Michelle O'Connell's murder ..and she's not alone ...

Behind The Blue Wall: [FL] It's that simple? Anonymous deputy says his a...: "...Investigators believe the deputy..." 9/20/2010 update: This case involves Michelle O'Connell and St. Johns Sheriff's Deputy Jeremy...

Fascinating blog here, all about domestic violence committed by law enforcement types on their intimate partners... I found it by looking for more info on this egregious case in Florida ...

The man in the concrete tank ...

Looking for something different to watch, I stumbled upon the first season of "Homeland" over this past weekend, and I have to say this:  I was so riveted and fascinated and intrigued by the first season, that I have even rewatched episodes - not, you know, a week or six months or a couple of years later ... but the next day! My only real sigh is with the too-worn-out-for-words cliche about spouses (one in particular) who can't take the hours and the demands of the job.  What captivated me about this show???  In no particular order, here is why I liked this show very much:

Drama.

Believable military and spy stuff in a post 9-11 world.

My definition of a good horror movie still stands: it has good horror AND a back story that could stand alone, without the horror.  Even tho there are horrible things, I know this isn't horror BUT - it does fit very well under my definition of horror, too!

I've been up close and personal with at least two people who have had bipolar, so I was very interested to see if what was portrayed, was accurate.  TEXTBOOK.  Studying to be a counselor, should see THIS!  No wonder Clare Danes (the only thing I had ever seen her in before, that I recall, was that eye drop ad in which she got very serious and almost angry about how Allergen was a reliable company) received an Emmy!!!  Also, speaking of Ms Danes, there is a scene where she rushes in from having been out all night and has to quickly get ready for work, and in getting herself changed, she takes a washcloth and removes last night's smell from between her legs - that was very, very real-life! - don't know if that was Ms Danes idea or the writers, but it gave it a very believable touch (no pun intended)!

Loved the home interiors -especially the floor layouts .

Showed you that the world isn't just black and white: that there are many, many complex shades of gray.

Made you really sit here and think about some very deep life questions:  how much would be too much before you would snap???  if you had not felt love or a hug in many isolated years of torture, and then you finally did so, how much would that change your worldview - how much has it changed your worldview???  if you had no closure and someone was 'just missing', how long would you live without an intimate partner ???  what if you loved someone that was forbidden to your family: how far would you carry it ??? 

Friday, September 21, 2012

"At a deep level"

And so it is with my parents.  I see now that even after their deaths, their example of loving-kindness continues to teach me and guide my life.  That goes deeper than just warm memories.  My parents are in me at a deep level, deeper than the mind can comprehend, as deep as the heart.  And surely God was their heart's teacher. ~ Linda Tatum

I did a favor for a friend today.   Twice we bunked into the "but Jean let me pay you --"  Twice I insisted that I could NOT, because 'my parents will come back to haunt me for going against how they raised me!'  Instead, this is a better and more accurate reason why I did what I did and refused an open wallet ... and when I reminded that friend 'hey I'll need something and then you'll be there' -- it was to also remind him that - even with his own tragedies, griefs, and losses -- yes, he is still a very good person, who has lovingkindness in his own heart <3

Sep 19 - Homily: La Sallette a Warning - Video - Catholic Online

Sep 19 - Homily: La Sallette a Warning - Video - Catholic Online

Five Minute Friday- Wide

Five Minute Friday- Wide

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Lila Rose, Stephanie Gray, & my mother

Lila Rose is one of my heroes!  On her Facebook page today, she talks briefly about her own conversion to pro-life via a graphic image of an abortion, and links us to a lengthy article by Stephanie Gray that talks about others who have been so converted, complete with video interviews ...

I have my own story about this, far too lengthy for a little comment box, ergo, I thought I would put it on my own blog ...

I was born in 1963.  So I was around ten years old when abortion became legal.  One week, in the back of our Catholic church's literature section (always being a great reader, I stopped there!), there was a brochure, in color, of what abortion exactly did.

I was so horrified that I took this brochure home and taped it to my bedroom window - and my bedroom faced the street ...

Very soon, my mother started getting phone calls from very upset neighbors!  "Steffy, Christ!  I know you're Catholic, but really now!" ...

My parents and I had a big go round about this.  I wanted people to see what they had done.  My parents agreed with me, that it wasn't right and it needed to be known - "but not like this, Jeannee, not like this!"  Eventually, I conceded - what prompted me to untape it from the window was my mother saying that (a) people will find this out without you putting it in the window! and (b) it'll all be outlawed very soon, trust me! once people see pictures like this!

Fast forward to the years after my beloved father died ...

Before his health decline, my father had a conversation with me in which he said he was keeping his will short - he was leaving everything to me and "you know what I support, doll" - so in other words, he wouldn't have to bequeath $ to this and to that ... and I've done that:  veteran's organizations, religious entities ...

I can distinctly see myself (in my mind's eye) sitting in my wicker chair in front of the library table I had in my kitchen in Lexi, reading my Catholic newspaper (no doubt with my usual suspects of a cuppa coffee and), and there was an advertisement for the pro-life billboards I had been privileged to see now and then as I traveled ... "Good people, them," I said out loud (not really talking to myself because I had two dogs in the house ;) ... and as I said that, I was physically seated in my chair but emotionally transported back to that day in my bedroom when I was 10 years old --

I started to pray.  I looked at the entire advertisement, and what I especially wanted to see was this --

How much to purchase an entire billboard???

Where I sit, I have what I call my supplies, and what most of the world would call stationary:  envelopes, pens, paper ... I wrote a letter to this organization, recalling what had happened in my childhood bedroom, and I said (paraphrasing) essentially that since it hadn't been outlawed, and since my beloved dad had told me to support organizations he would have supported were he still alive - well - this was even bigger than my bedroom window had been!  And then I hunted for my checkbook, and I stuck it all in, taping the envelope closed and putting stamps on it (more supplies :) ) and then walked it over to the little table by the door (I always try to have some little something by the door to hold outgoing mail) --

I received a call from the director of the organization.  WOW!  She was blessed and touched by my letter and my donation, and she wanted to call me personally!

But you know what???

I took that call for my parents ... and for the children that are murdered and lost ... and only after all of that, I took it for one disabled woman in a housecoat, who found that even like that, she can make a difference in this sad old world.

Roots and Feathers // Violet Bella: RAINY DAY BLUES

Roots and Feathers // Violet Bella: RAINY DAY BLUES: Today when I was passing through the bedroom to take my shower, I found miss Violet snuggled up on the bed like this.  Its been rainy...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Me Myself & I ... Link-up Party except

I'm not blogger savvy enough to link myself ;-  Here is there link:  http://yellowumbrelladesign.blogspot.com
Here are my answers to the questions:

1) When you're feeling down, what do you do to pick yourself up?
Things having to do with paper, I've realized: organizing (and re-organizing) ... a new book ... or a different book ... et al 
2)  If you had to live in a different time period which would you prefer?
The 40s possibly the 50s


3)  What is the most creative Halloween costume you've ever worn?
How about the year my mother hand-sewed a creative gypsy costume THEN put her makeup on me and her jewelry :)

4)  Five weird things about you we wouldn't know without being told?
I'm not even sure if I want to answer this one in a public forum ;- or if I can give you five?! Maybe one ...Hmmmmm.....

5)  What would you tell your 16-year-old self?
PAY ATTENTION - the choices you make now REALLY DO INFLUENCE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! And -get some new friends (some of them) - the ones encouraging you to act out are doing so because HELLO JEAN WAKE THE HELL UP! they're jealous of the life you have and want to destroy it.  (There is so much more I want to write about here, but so I don't get all bogged down in it, I'll leave it in a thumbnail for right  now ...) ............

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

9/11 fireman visits all 397 U.S. National Parks

How the Lord’s Prayer saved a 9/11 survivor

How the Lord’s Prayer saved a 9/11 survivor  

His talking about this event has several ways he expresses himself that just resonate with me, to my very toes - beginning w/ the ending, where he talks about what will happen when he dies.  Also - how he describes the scene, and how he describes the cloud ... how he describes his sense of Jesus when he was actually still in the building ... and how he reminds us of the thousands of acts of good/God that day <3

Small-Town Life (an occasional series ...)

It was around six in the evening, maybe, when I took CoCo out last night ... a lovely, cool but not cold, perfect for walking!, time of day, and here is what we saw:

There was a mom, on a bicycle, with her two kiddys, each of them on there own bicycles - and the mom had the family dog on one of those leash's that connect to the spokes of the bike! and what looked to be a Golden Retriever was very happy!

And then there was the guy-kid ...

I call him that because he looked like one of those early middle school students who is still really pretty much a kid, but his body has suddenly gone into adult proportions ... he was on a bicycle, one that he was very familiar with riding, because he was able to coast along with no heads AND keeping it steady on ... and he needed to do that because he was on one of  those cell phones that you need to speak into like a walky-talky ... his "I'm changing!" adolescent squeak voice announced to his buddy, "You know Samantha?  Well she has my number and I have hers!" with obvious pride!  It was just so small-town innocent - like the picture of how you wanted your son to be growing up ....

Tribute in Light

Environmental idea, quashed

You know, I live in this very small little town here ... now, I certainly need to maintain my vehicle! highway driving ; 16 miles to the nearest big city and all -- but I had this thought:

How often do I go right around here for errands, in a very small radius???

Wouldn't it make more sense to have - well, how about a moped?!

Now, this sounded crazy, my initial thought - after all, I was never able to master a two-wheeled bicycle -- but then again --

Moped = motorized ped!

Hmmm.  Well, I don't know.  I just don't know - so -ok - I figured the best place to figure out if this is workable for me or not would be a dealership that had staff ... and so I went online to do research --

Nearly 5K?!  Are you out of your minds?!!!

You know, as much as I love this small town ... well ... its made me anti-the-environment.  The recycling is so non-user-friendly, I can't participate in it anymore (its voluntary here) and I really do feel bad about what I stuff in my kitchen trash ;-  (The recycling is a WHOLE STORY.  If I haven't already shared it on this blog, and/or you want to know what that's about, let me know, please.)  And now -- this --

Sigh.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

(For 9-11) Trace Adkins - Arlington

Jessica's Wonderland: Life Magazine's Remembering Marilyn 50 Years Later.

Jessica's Wonderland: Life Magazine's Remembering Marilyn 50 Years Later.

Jessica's Wonderland: My Library

Jessica's Wonderland: My Library

9-11

Today is the anniversary.  I have just been up on Facebook and have noticed something disconcerting: to my friends that are in different countries, this doesn't even make a ruffle in there days, not even "in sympathy with you" type posts (and in at least one instance an American has thanked a foreign country for there assistance on our tragic day!), but, instead, its "MY life AS USUAL".

My life can never be usual, no matter how many different addresses I have hung my coat up at since that day... My story has been shared (with the Christian references edited out by the newspaper it was printed in, which made my temperature rise slightly when I opened the paper that day, very excited I was going to be quoted (initially)) but since this is my blog (dammit!) I am going to share THE WHOLE STORY of MY 9/11 experience :

I was married and living in Harrisonburg, Virginia.  It was a typical morning: my husband and I were out early to deliver newspapers with our two doggys, Myndie and CoCo, each of whom had an assigned route (one was always waiting in the vehicle w/ Mommy) ... then, after we returned home, my husband had to clean up and get ready to go to classes at seminary, and I went back to bed ...

The scoop was, with my sleeping 'problems', I should have slept until around one, two, in the afternoon -- instead, I was rudely awakened after only a short time by what actually felt like someone giving me a good hard shove.  I called my husband's name.  No answer.  I got up and looked through the house.  No, he wasn't home.  (And, besides, he almost never woke me up like that.)  The dogs were sleeping.  I should have caught it, but I didn't ... I simply noted the time and went back to sleep ...

Which I was able to do for a couple more hours ... but I tell you what:  that hard arm shove awake really knocked my sleep into a restless, toss and turn, one ...with a sigh, I got up around late mid-morning, I would say.  Went through a usual routine: bathroom ; into the kitchen to let the tap flow into the coffee pot; sit at the computer and light a cigarette ...

I had AOL then.  My welcome screen had a small picture to the right of a burning building and I thought to myself, "My God, Irwin Allen is making disaster movies AGAIN."  I logged into my email...

And one of the first emails was from a dear female online friend who lived in California.  Now, she was a good person, in so many ways, but her entire focus was about what was going on in her own little (and I do mean little - rude little trailer in the woods so deep that meth cookers made a beeline for that county; her family of three) world.  So when I saw the title of her email was "What Happened in NY today" --

I was sitting in an office chair, in front of the desk.  This desk was the mid-point-marker between our living room and our dining room, all very groovy open-plan construction that they have nowadays, so you have to make your own separations with furniture ... I spun around in the chair, grabbed the remote control off the top of the sofa, and

THE WHOLE WORLD STOPPED  CHANGED  WAS BURNED-OUT  WAS BEFORE AND AFTER RIGHT THERE, ON EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL AND THEY EVEN SOMEHOW GOT NY1 DOWN TO OUR CABLE ON A LIVE FEED

I realized that the hard arm shove that had woken me up : that was the time the first tower was hit by a plane.  I believe, firmly, that the God of my understanding was calling on everyone He knew that prayed, to do so - even if they were cozy in a nest of blankets ... I should have gotten the proper signal, but I didn't.  I knew better!  I really pay attention NOW!

I cried.  I shook.  I prayed.  I hugged my doggys.  I tried to call my Dad to see if he was okay, being in Jersey, but he already had the Alzheimer's, so he didn't have any understanding of why all his shows were off the air and how close this was to where his house was (about 50 minutes sitting on a Metroliner).

And then the door opened and my startled to see me sitting there husband walked in.  They had closed the entire college.  THEY HAD CLOSED THE ENTIRE COLLEGE?!

Yes, because the whole world had changed, and would never, EVER be MY life AS USUAL.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Misfits Vintage: The olden days

Misfits Vintage: The olden days: So I popped home for a couple of days in my little shack. The weather, frankly, was arse :   sunny with gale forced winds that blew down ...

"Misfits Vintage" is one of these wonderful bloggers!  i was referenced to her by my regular reading of Desiree, who writes Pull Your Socks Up! - 'Miss Misfits' was the one who reassured her that YES even a blonde can wear yellow :)  I'm posting this one because I love all the bright colors of her crocheted lovely's - AND wish she would share with me, the owner of several, how she went about washing them!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Sometimes, you catch things later....

So I was sharing in another online forum about my several-years-long procrastination in going through boxes of *stuff* that hold emotional context for me ... and how I successfully! eliminated a box this past week! - yeah, me :)  I actually got it down to one desk drawer (from this HUGE box) and every once in a while ...

I came across one of my dad's credit card bills from 2005.  By the handwriting on it, I can tell it was he who paid that bill - quite impressive, actually, if you consider he was already pushing the 90s and Alzheimer's disease, and would die 2 years later!!!  (Actually, his bill paying wasn't always so accurate or timely by then, and - a whole other story - let's just say I was a watchful eye ...).  Anyway - there's something about this particular bill, you see --

I just happened to notice a $12.00 charge to belong to an online group

which would generally imply "oh that's something my daughter Jean is up on"

except

I recognize the group's name

IT WAS SOMETHING MY EX-HUSBAND WAS INVOLVED IN.  WE HAD SPLIT FOR GOOD IN 2003.  THIS BILL WAS 2005.  --- Wait for it - that isn't even the ultimate irony -- wait for it --

the name of the group was

CHRISTIANS IN RECOVERY

Thursday, September 6, 2012

More words of wisdom (One Life to Live lyrics)

We Stand Tired And Tested
Our Hearts Resurrected
One Truth This Is What We Live And Die For
We Fight With Conviction
No Time For Excuses
One Life it's Our Only Chance
To Take A Stand
Make The Most Of Every Day You Live
Choose The Day It Just Might Be Your Last
No Regrets We Have No Time To Wait
Take Control Weve Got One Life To Live

We've Got One Life To Live
We've Got To Make A Change

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Words of Wisdom!

here's my prayer for my darling

My daughter turns 30 this Friday, September 7th ... and my first and foremost prayer is that the prayers of her mom here, the so great a cloud of witnesses that are praying for her and pulling for her from above, and the people down here on earth who continued to pray for her, will remove from her life the things that run through and trample down her spirit, and her conscience, like rampant wild hogs ...

That - like the name of my new favorite footwear that I touted  on this blog - she finds New Balance within her life!!!

That - whether or not she believes it - she is etched on my heart and my soul for each and every second she has had life on this planet - from the day I stood in that department store where I was then employed and realized I was pregnant, through to today - and that - here's my prayer : that she feels even a little bit of this, for her birthday ...

That in some future day, we can go out on her birthday for chinese food for mom and sushi for her ... with one of those spectacular desserts someplace that come with singing servers and maybe even sparklers! ...

And I pray, too, for my grandsons, whom I love, and for my grands in heaven with my Mom and Dad ...

Why I was so Adamant ...

I had my intake this week, for counseling ... it was the visit where you go over your symptoms with an intake counselor, blah, blah, blah ... and I say it like that because I've been in and around the mental health system for more years than I care to think about, thank you! - and there's one part I was pretty adamant about:

I know what bipolar looks like - believe me, I've known at least two people up close and very personal with this illness.  I know what schizophrenia looks like - ditto how I know that.  And

I'M NEITHER OF THOSE.

Really!  I know what I've got :  depressions that come back; general anxiety disorder that if I allow it to go on without treatment, it becomes agorophobia ....

My concern is this:  I don't want to be misdiagnosed - and wrongly prescribed! - because that can make me very ill and - let's be honest: it follows you around the mental health system ...

Just a few minutes ago, I was up on a web page of - well let's say an acquaintence ... actually, at one point, she was a pretty good, f2f, friend - there were times of coffee and hanging out and times of getting through rough patches that life dealt us, and times of being around when she played cards with this whole group of people that included my then-husband (don't get me wrong - I love cards! and I would love to find someone to play cards with! but poker isn't my forte) ....

And so when I saw her write about being bipolar, I revolted.

Sure, sure - maybe something happened in the intervening years?

Well ... I think not. 

She was already well past the age where a sudden mental illness crops up ... and unless she had some severe shock between then and now (I've known of at least one person who had a severe blow and it set off something she never had before) --

She believes it, apparently, as does her family.  So I guess we're all supposed to get on this bus?

I won't. 

Because I'd seen her over the period of a good number of years and

Nope. 

She's on the wrong dammed bus!!!!

LanaIndiana: How to be a Widow

LanaIndiana: How to be a Widow: *sigh* Who would ever want to purposely write about this crap? Certainly not me. I am no expert. I know how to be a wife. I know how to be...

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I take it to my own blog, bahbee ...

About a year ago now? I was quite taken aback when one of the beauty guru's on YouTube talked about a hate site that was trashing her - not that I didn't believe her! but it just sounded - no way!

Way.  Gossip guru, and it's pretty darned raw, in places ....

Ours is a society drenched in trash talk and yet - I didn't get it.  For a looong time, I didn't get it.  I mean - if you don't like a particular beauty guru - can't you just hit the unsub button, for pity's sakes?!  I've done that with several that just crossed the wrong line in what content I want to see.  And that's that.

Until today.

Today, I almost - I caught myself about to register to post.  Thankfully, I caught myself!  Because I don't need the community validation to know that someone was snarky and rude and

I have my own blog, thank you ;)

There is a cute young blonde guru who goes by the name Pinkhoneybeee.  Ok, I admit it: when I'm stressed out, when I'm tired and in pain and can't sleep - I like to watch these young women have the wonderful lives they do!  To try to think of myself in there shoes ... or my daughter, because she's usually closer to there age than I am ...

So, a few moments before, I went to watch one of her videos.  She was giving a product review.  I had a problem w/ the review : the music would blow you out of your seat - so you'd turn it down and then you couldn't hear it ;-  And that was what I put in the comments.  No trash talk, nothing bad - simply that I wanted to watch it but the audio was giving me a problem.

Almost immediately, I heard back from pinkhoneybeee ... and her comment was snarky and rude.  And almost brought me to the doorstep of the trash talk guru gossips.  Here's what she wrote:

"Hmm? I don't think it was hard to follow. This is a review & it's pretty self explanatory! My music is a part of my intros & that's not going to change. I'm not a quiet person & I definitely wasn't quiet in this video nor any other video i've done. It must be your computer because no one else seems to have that problem hearing or understanding me... You should get a Macbook pro.. All your hearing and understanding problems would be solved :)"

And how much is Macbook pro paying you for your promotion, hmmmm????  And has anyone else in your life (especially considering you work in a public position - she's a dental hygene person) considered you rude and/or disrespectful, hmmmm????

I've unsubbed.  And, the power of the blog, bahbee, the power of the blog ....

Free Mr. Bates!

Downton Abbey Season 3 Spoiler Alert: Cat Fights & Money Problems

Monday, September 3, 2012

Vigil for supermarket shooting victims | Video | 7online

Vigil for supermarket shooting victims | Video | 7online

Things from my father

Sitting in the back of my truck was this big box I had put off going through - because I realized it held alot of little papers and things to go through, mostly from my dad ... and I took a deep breath and went through them just now!  Here are the more interesting things I found:

Before the Alzheimer's, in 1996, he recv'd a careless driving ticket not too far from home, for his 'usual driving style' ;-  and it was right around this time of year, too!

And then there is post Alzheimer's :  a copy of a monthly bill from Potomac Homes, which took no insurance, so it was credit card, cash, or check - $4,450.00.  That's for one month - and he lived there for the last year of his life.  I remember each and every time I paid a bill, I had two feelings:  (a) I was very grateful to my parents for having the foresight to save! and (b) without a husband, being longterm disabled with no savings, no responsible adult child, either - what in the hell was going to happen to ME?!

A printout from the computer when someone researched where his brother was lost in WW2 :
Walter William Waseck  on the ship John L Morley, in Bari, Italy, on 12/2/43 (their poor parents, losing a son right before Christmas!) 

And a copy of a poem he had lots of copies of, so he must have really loved it! It was written by Frankie Palacio hours before his death - it really speaks to me, and so those parts especially I have distinguished:
When I must leave you for a little while,
Please do not grieve an shed wild tears,
AND HUG YOUR SORROW TO YOU THROUGH THE YEARS
But start out bravely with a gallant smile,
And for my sake and in my name,
Live on and do all the things the same,
Feed not your loneliness on empty days,
But fill each waking hour in useful ways.
Reach out your hand in comfort and cheer,
And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near,
And never, never be afraid to die,
For I am waiting for you in the sky!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Parking Lot Psycho ... I'm still shook

So I was in the Wal Mart parking lot this afternoon ... very crowded : I figured everyone would be having picnics and family events but apparently for alot of college students with $ and no classes (and others) ...

So I was about to pull into a handicapped space.  Let me clarify:  I had my turn signal on, I was driving s l o w with my foot on the brake, and I was already halfway into the space when

A little white car came shooting up at me.

I  thought to myself - I'm not fighting for a handicapped space even if I really need it today - so I came to a complete stop

That's when I realized

The guy wasn't going for the space - he was trying to hit the front of my SUV with his little white car!

"What are you doing?!" I yelled (closed window) and waved my hands.

He went around the front of my truck barely by an inch, pulled up alongside me, his window open and his car full of passengers - some of whom looked alarmed at him and were tugging on him - and he started to bellow I AM THE FRIGGIN KING YOU MOVE FOR ME BITCH

My God I'm going to die, I thought - it's a parking lot psycho

I was so scared I couldn't even think to pray - just -stare

His friends in the back seat were especially persuasive and so he drove off

I got the space

but I've not felt right since - I'm still shook

"Just faith in fellow man, mankind. Everyone I would hope to do the same,"

Good Samaritan meets man he saved from fiery I-85 crash

Sadness in the Skye

My father was very close to his cousin Freddy (how much actual family relation there was, I'm unsure of) and yeahhh there are many Uncle Freddy stories I can tell!  However, today I want to share about his surviving daughter, and what the internet can tell you ...

She was from his last (and third) marriage, his one shining hope in the whole wide world especially after his namesake son crashed and burned so badly in his life (and died young, to boot) ... This whole marriage was a type of May-December thing, and his wife was a genius, and determined to raise her daughter to be a genius, too ...

And yeahhh ok life happened :  Uncle Freddy got caught in something that's a whole long story and has several versions of it, which caused his marriage to fracture - look - neither one of them were saints - both of them did things they really shouldn't! - but here's the one big thing:  they both loved their daughter <3

It was a little hard to find this young woman - she's completely removed her father's name and in fact carries her mother's name ... when I did find her, I saw so much of my own daughter, and countless other kids, as well, who are so spittingly angry at there parents for actually God forbid! being HUMAN!, that they live there lives not as themselves, so much, but as angry acting out against what their parents were and believed ...

This young woman had a father from another time and place, who felt the worst thing for a young white woman to do, was to be involved with a man from another race ... this girl has married that guy, and has a child.

And her mother, who literally created her to be a genius by the time she was seven?  what would her mother think of her daughter JUST NOW graduating - not from an Ivy League school, not from a four year college, not with another Master's or PhD - but a degree from a community college?!!  Someone typed in the comments that her mother would be proud of her.  I think her mother would be confused!

At least it reads like she's a good mom, and I know where she got that from:

FROM BOTH HER PARENTS.