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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Official God's Not Dead (Like A Lion) Lyric Video

2012 year-end post

In an online group to which I belong, we were asked to share 2012's greatest gift ... writing it out helped clarify some things for me; I consider it a beautiful piece of my writing, to be honest! & so I wished to also have it in my blog ...:
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I recently read the phrase "semiworthless person", and I'll have y'all know that I'm already feeling that way, thank you, for being estranged from family members (for various & sundry reasons, including addictions on their parts), as well as twice-divorced and uncoupled .... then, this past week, something happened where - while I did stay sober - I basically became unglued --

-- essentially, someone that lives in the same apartment building that I do, that I thought was a friend, turned on me like Willard's rat - and not only did he hurt me emotionally, not only did he bring up every other act of betrayal by so-called friends -- he made sure to triangulate at least one other person into it and damage my relationship with that person (if not more than that) ...

It brought up so many emotional issues of feeling unsafe & exposed for me that rather than go to the laundromat and hang around the downtown for several hours - a place where I have previously felt very comfortable, mind you - I furtively dashed into my corner Dollar Store for a change of clothes!!!

BUT HERE'S THE THING -- he almost made me forget what one of the greatest gifts of 2012 was, which centers exactly on this place - let me explain:

When I relocated back here, there were things specific to being back in this Valley, and then there were things that were specific to my apartment that I just loved: that I can park right outside my front door; that there are no stairs to contend with for me OR for a 16 year old doggy w/ weak back legs; the huge kitchen counter; the fact that I can sit outside most days because I'm covered by the boardwalk for the 2d floor so I don't have to worry about sun or even rain; the fact that the rear street light shines right in my bedroom - which annoys everyone EXCEPT ME! because I can use it as a nightlight ;) 

The only thing that bothered me was that I didn't think financially I would be able to stick around for more than a year ... that I would have to go into public housing - which is actually very decent EXCEPT that it being a federal building with their smoking prohibitions I would always be running in and out - yet another reason to love my little apartment here!  I can sit in here and have my cigarettes and coffee to my heart's content!

The greatest gift of 2012, for a doggy feeling her age & that I try to remember to tell every single morning I'm so grateful we get to spend another day together, and myself, is that we have been able to stick around for another year at this apartment complex, where - for under $500 a month - I open my front door & I face my beloved mountains, directly across the street - in fact, they are so beautiful, so awe-inspiring, that I excuse the fact they interfere with my Internet at times ;)

Saturday, December 29, 2012

A Shepherd's Post: From Grace to Glory: The Death of a Friend

A Shepherd's Post: From Grace to Glory: The Death of a Friend: When I was a boy, my grand aunt lived in the apartment downstairs from my family and we would spend a lot of time in her home.  In her par...

Friday, December 28, 2012

Poetry and a Cup of Tea (about 2012, & 2013)..

Poetry and a Cup of Tea :
Most years I look back with a small measure of re...
: Most years I look back with a small measure of regret at the year that has passed by so quickly, but this year I am happy to say goodbye...

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

What is WRONG with Food Lion?!

One of the big advantages to moving back here, that I couldn't wait to experience again, was in having more than one brand of supermarket! 

And then, I got here ...

My local Food Lion is infamous (even after there much-touted renovation) for not having big selections and usual name brands on products - but hey they're 24 hours and if you don't want to drive the 32 mile round trip into Harrisonburg at dark o'clock --- but that's not even where I'm most mad at this store --

It started with the teeth I fractured over the summer on there so-called fresh produce, which is really hothouse-grown, so it was about as hard as my kitchen counter -- in a rural area with so many farms, THIS is what you sell?!

So I avoid the produce aisle ...

And now, I find someplace else to avoid ...

Today is Christmas.  Its foggy, and cold ... I'm having some physical symptoms here, so getting washed, dressed, AND driving into Harrisonburg, just doesn't ring my Christmas chimes, sorry - but hey that's ok!  Because I went shopping at Food Lion, and I can make meatloaf!

The meat has gone bad.

So essentially I've learned that if its any FRESH product - nothing from the frozen or canned aisle (unless of course it's one of the name brands they don't have) - I really should just go into Harrisonburg, anyway ...

I just wish I hadn't learned this on Christmas -- nowhere near like the Christmas I had a life-altering car accident, but a teeth-grinder, nevertheless ...

Sunday, December 23, 2012

beachcomber: the shell seeker

beachcomber: the shell seeker: Hi.. i know i said i wouldn't be back 'til after Christmas but here's one last quick post.  I had to share this beachcombing Santa I found...

The "When You See It, Reblog It" Tag

When you see it, REBLOG IT.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 800-843-5678
 National Center for Missing and Exploited Children  800-843-5678  to  report sightings of missing kids
  800-DONT-CUT///800-366-8288    SAFE (Self-Abuse Finally Ends)
888-4AL-ANON   
866-331-9474 English and Spanish  National Domestic Violence Hotline
Crisis Pregnancy:  1-800-550-4900     1-800-848-LOVE   1-800-662-2678

Europe's Best Recycling and Prevention Program

Europe's Best Recycling and Prevention Program

WAS $69.00 NOW $49.99 (New Balance sadness)

YES, I was the one who highly touted and promoted New Balance sneakers, as a way to support an American-made product in an economically-depressed area ...

Well ...

Folks, I go out around grass and macadam, mostly ... and I'm not standing long-term in a gas station for a living (which I do know - whatever brand you have - it eats shoes!) ... and I don't wear them all day long - just when I know I have to leave the house --

-- already, the soles are shredding and separating.  It's not quite at the point where it's going to flap loose and I'm going to trip, and I'm not taking on water yet ... but ... yeahhh, these shoes are trashed ;(

Do I want to support Americans?

Absolutely!

Do I want to spend just under a hundred dollars again for a product that isn't going to last?

Absolutely NOT!

I looked around online and found an Easy Spirit (which I know is a good brand name) sneaker that ZIPPERS - this is part of the brave new world for me, folks!  And the bonus was that they were ON SALE! (see my headline)  -- therefore --

I'll let you know how THEY work out ....


Saturday, December 22, 2012

Trace Adkins - Christmas In Rockefeller Center 2012

That *Lancaster* feeling

When I was a kid, my parents and myself took a vacation to the Pennsylvania Dutch country - Lancaster, PA...

Looking back at pictures from that time & place brings back so many memories (just ask me what happened at the wax museum for First Ladies!) - but there is this one particular photo that I'm thinking of right now:

We were staying at a motel with a pool.  It was right around sunset.  My mother had  the camera, while my dad and I decided to go swimming --

Mom captured this brilliant! photo of me airborne, jumping into the pool, with the setting sun illuminating the air behind me .... and my father looking up at me, his arms upstretched to catch me.

Very evocative of our entire relationship, me and Dad <3

Now I'm sure if I was as good of a 'minister' (non-ordained) as I am a writer, I could craft a volume on how our good God is like my earthly father was that day --

-- but -- since I'm not --

I'll say this, instead:  that all my life I've looked and searched - in many places, amongst many situations - for someone in my life that I can trust myself to be airborne around, because I knew without a doubt, that they would catch me

And so far, that's only been my Daddy

and I buried him in 2007

Some girls seek Prince Charming ... or the Fresh Prince ...

I seek someone to catch me airborne.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Use Me

Agape Love Designs & Photography: Use Me: Cardy : Ross, Sequin Tank : Old Navy, Skinnies : Walmart, Shoes : Payless Purse c/o : Beka's Bags , Earrings c/o : Permanent Bagg...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

And none of it is

This morning - a combination of the 'hell group' I knew I was supposed to show up and report for, and the rapidly-approaching Christmasness, which I'm trying very valiantly to stave off the holiday-sky-blue's about - I just didn't want to go ... didn't want to go to group; didn't want to drive there; hit the "f" it bucket

So I stayed the hell home and went back to bed ... and had a table-turn-over, stomach-wrenching, nightmare like I have not had in a helluva long time!  (yeahhh, I got it - I didn't even have to go into the dream dictionary about it)

So I get up and I'm groggy and the sun is out and its warm and I take my doggy out and

a cop car pulls in here

Thank God almighty it was a welfare check and he was at the wrong building!  I was beginning to get the paranoids, that everything  today was going to be bad news ;-

And then I come back in to make a second cuppa coffee and my phone is ringing and it IS bad news, MORE bad news, from my home state, about people I care about and ... yeahhh - cause for prayer!  If you read this and if you pray, remember Earlene, and her daughter Jenn, and the grandbaby - God knows the whole story ...

Meanwhile while I'm outside drinking this coffee I see the two women who live at the end - who are good people, decent people, dog people, who have an astonishing amount of seasonal decorations for every single holiday under the sun because they've created a country cottage out of a three room + bath with patio slab under the stairs apartment -- well, they're moving out an incredible amount of stuff, even more stuff than you could think they could fit around and about one of these places!  They loaded up a pickup truck so much, they had to use a bungee cord to seal it in!  And I'm watching it and I'm thinking - are they moving?!  And then my next thought is even more of a stopper:  are they breaking up?! my God, do you realize that - in 16 apartments here - THEY ARE THE ONLY COUPLE?!  Every one else of us is a widow, or divorced, or single and in varying amounts of recovering from our hearts being ripped out of our chests (and a few, not at all - just morose and needing medication and therapy)  - CAN WE LOSE THE ONLY COUPLE THAT LIVES HERE?!! 

On a day like today, when everything is going on like this, 'I think not' ...


So after the second cuppa coffee I decide its time to put my hand on some fresh hot tasty food, and I clean up a little bit and head down to my local pizza parlor ... and the day manager - her son Ryan was rushed in an ambulance from school today:  he blacked out (because of the flu?!!!) and got a concussion - so if y'all could pray for him, too (and his poor mom!) ...

And none of this angst today is anywhere close to what those poor parents and grandparents and titi's and uncle's in the part of the world that is Ct, or Israel, or take your pick from the newspaper, are feeling about the loss of a precious child that had the hope of a future to us world-weary souls - I know that

And I also know the pain of the broken and sad world I feel is enough, and I just want to disconnect from it for a while, if I can

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Me, Myself, & I

This came into my email from the "Yellow Umbrella" blog ...

(1) What was your favorite gift given to you as a child?
 
(2) Christmas is almost here, what is that one Christmas song you could listen to on repeat?  This year, it sure seems to be 'O Come, O Come, Emmanuel'
 
(3) What are a few of the items on your Christmas list this year?  See my previous blog posts on this ...

(4) Do you and your family have any special holiday traditions? Explain.
 
(5) Which do you prefer: wrapping paper or gift bags? Why?  BAGS - I'm nowhere OCD enough for wrapping paper!   ;)
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(1) AND (4)  Every single year, my parents would give me the Information Please Almanac - lots  of very happy reading !!!  I may even still have some of the originals (not e-bay purchases, whereby I was///am! trying to shore-up the childhood losses).  I looked forward to finding it underneath the tree and once I did, boy - you wouldn't see me until there was food, lol ;)

There are more things I would like to share; I may just come back to this ...

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Why I have a jar of old buttons .....

I was talking to a friend the other day, who asked me what I would like for Christmas???

I shrugged and said, "Nah, nothin' -  get my doggy another bag of those treats, ok?"

He asked me again, with a little more insistence.  Surely there was SOMETHING?! --

I gave him a smile & replied, "My dear friend, what I want you can't give me - because it doesn't fit in a box, and, it can't be found, either.  What I want - well - how about my Mom and Dad back???  Yeahhh, that's what I'd like for Christmas!!!"

That sure explains things like why I have a jar of old buttons in storage (someplace ...still digging!) --

-- because my mom touched them; they were next to her sewing machine ...

Yeahhh, that's what I'd like (even Mom - now that I understand her more!) ..............

O Holy Night - Incredible child singer 7 yrs old -

Upcoming Blogger's Day of Silence ... for the silenced ones

Because Shanna Said So...: Silence and Support: To the blog world and anyone else who wants to help, Friday, December 14, 2012, tragedy struck so many of us in ways we did not foresee...

Oregon Mall Shooting Victim Kristina Shevchenko Survived Deadly August Crash - ABC News

Oregon Mall Shooting Victim Kristina Shevchenko Survived Deadly August Crash - ABC News

Operation Santa Claus breaks fundraising record - The Breeze: Life

Operation Santa Claus breaks fundraising record - The Breeze: Life

Saturday, December 15, 2012

No pictures for Christmas!

There are certain Christmas cards I didn't yet send (including one that goes overseas) that are going to be more than 'fashionably-late' ... and  that's because of a dual-headed snafu with Rite-Aid and Fuji Film ...

I had a disposable camera to develop and didn't want to drive into Harrisonburg (32 mile round trip, from closing my door to opening it again), ergo, I went here to Rite-Aid - now, about Rite-Aid --

I've had various problems with Rite-Aid (as well as some big name box drugstores) in the past that almost always fall under the category of : we built up SO FAST we have to grab our pharmacists by the hair as they graduate - therefore, they have plenty of book knowledge, but no actual business skills (and, more often than not, no common sense) --

but I was just dropping off film.

and that was last week.

So I went into Rite-Aid this evening to see if I was developed ... and right away I bunked into the problem of Emily, the teenager with the silky smooth jet black hair ...

I've been in there just enough to realize she's not an exasperated, surly teenager (picture the Jersey Shore reality show) with everyone - just women of my age, the age of probably her mother.  Ergo, she has mother issues, and I just happen to be a representative of that 'tribe' ...

and Emily is the only one working.

even the pharmacy is closed tighter than a slipcover (at 8.30 on a night when the store is open until 11?! which means anyone with an emergency will have to go into Harrisonburg and hit Maul-Mart).

and sucking in the air she exhales and leaning over her as she stocks shelves is a young man her age who just can't wait for her to get off, so he can.

so now she's doubly p'o ed she has to wait on me.  greaaaatttt

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY FILM HASN'T EVEN BEEN SENT OUT YET WHEN I DROPPED IT OFF MIDDLE OF LAST WEEK?!  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT MY PICTURES WON'T BE BACK UNTIL AFTER CHRISTMAS?!  WHY HASN'T FUJI BEEN NOTIFIED THEY HAVE A PICKUP HERE?!  (ARE THEY TEN TIMES MORE LIKELY TO PICK UP IN, SAY, HARRISONBURG???  I NEED TO KNOW THAT, SO FOR THE NEXT TIME, I'LL SKIP THE RITE-AID LOCALLY .... OF COURSE, SURLY SUE EMILY THERE WOULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO KNOW THAAAAAT)

Rite-Aid, and Fuji Film, you have some 'splaining to do ... and as for my local Rite-Aid:  is Emily related to someone, making her hard-to-fire?!!

Lemon Lane Cottage: there are no words...

Lemon Lane Cottage: there are no words...: I have been sitting, staring at this computer screen trying to put into words emotions and feelings that are unfathomable.   Everything seem...

Meet my daughter

When Fairies Don't Shut Up: Bipolar Disorder: Bipolar disorder used to be known as manic depressive disorder or manic depression. It's a serious mental illness, one that can lead to ris...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sarah's Alleluia: Blessed Margaret of Castello

Sarah's Alleluia: Blessed Margaret of Castello: I recently had the horrifying privilege of reading The Life of Blessed Margaret of Castello . This tale of a hunchback Saint, blind a...

Sarah's Alleluia: Pray Always

Sarah's Alleluia: Pray Always: I've been pondering what it means to pray without ceasing. It seems like sometimes all God is waiting for is me to make that initial step....

Saturday, December 8, 2012

11 ?s from "The Puzzle of Sandra's Life"

And here are my 11 questions for you!
1. Who do you admire/look up to?  Lila Rose
2. What would you do if you won the lottery?  Buy a house at the Jersey shore, furnish it, pay all the #$% taxes, rescue dogs to live in it !  But only AFTER helping the people who have stood by through the years - very small numbers, they (and in at least one case, the most unbelieveable ...)
3. Do you have any (secret) talents?  Sssshhhhh ....
4. Do your personality and your zodiac sign description match?  Kind of.  I'm a Gemini, the "twins" - but there are more than just TWO sides to me ;)
5. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?  Not a clue - can I mebbe buy a vowel?!
6. If you could only shop at one fashion store for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?  Rose's
7. What is the most embarassing thing that has happened to you?  I was in secretarial school, and we had a pretty strict dress code - essentially, you were supposed to dress each day like you were going for an interview (THE interview for THE job) - but, barring that, at least for a *name* corporate office.  So it was winter, and I was wearing an 'acceptable if you're going to work in the office part of a warehouse' OOTD: a sweater over a business blouse, with a plaid skirt, stockings, and heels ... and ... as I took two steps out of the ladies room and was about to turn into a crowded hallway, the biggest stickler for the dress code literally jumped on my back, holding my shoulders and preventing me from walking forward.  Oh, no, I thought - I'm not dressed well enough ;-  and then, she whispered in my ear, "Your skirt is stuck up in the air to the back of your sweater, dear!"   ;)~~~~
8. Do you have any weird dreams?  Surely - and nightmares where I wake up screaming.  Its why I've done dream analysis since I was 15!
9. What is your guilty pleasure?  Could I possibly be arrested?!  Sssshhhh ...
10. Do you like your name or would you prefer having a different one?  Like it.
11. Who is your celebrity crush?  Sssshhhhh ... actually, this changes - I go through "phases" and right now, ahhh, I'm phaseless ;)...

C O M F Y H O U S E: on a clear day, i can see forever

C O M F Y H O U S E: on a clear day, i can see forever: Yesterday was one of those days where I was feeling RUSHED . I had too much to do and not enough time to accomplish it all. Sound familiar? ...

Friday, December 7, 2012

The frosted visitors

Two of my neighbors - both men - both really great guys - came to visit tonight.  And they brought there alcohol. 

I was okay - in an okay place, in an okay emotional spot where people drinking in my home was ok.  Otherwise, I would have asked them to take it elsewhere.

While the one guy got so trashed he's going to have a hammerhead tomorrow and the other guy looked just relaxed, and had to help him home, in both these cases I was given sober, discerning eyes to see what drunks look like. 

Call it my own reality tv.  Call it keeping it green, as we say in AA. 

Call it a remembrance that'll keep me sober today and for a while!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Extreme Makeover

Association of Catholic Women Bloggers: Extreme Makeover:   Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the sta...

How to build a Mary garden + JMJ

Association of Catholic Women Bloggers: Introducing Cheryl Dickow!: Cheryl has kindly signed up as one of our blog authors. Please check out her site here (Cheryl Dickow is a Catholic wife, mother, auth...

The Sparrow At Starbucks

Association of Catholic Women Bloggers: The Sparrow At Starbucks: My wife, Mary Jo, starts chemo treatments today a great story and song that if I keep trusting Him and singing His songs, everything's gonna...

Geneva teens say thanks to vets

Geneva teens say thanks to vets

Volunteer remembered with serenity garden

Pasadena: Volunteer remembered with serenity garden - CapitalGazette.com: Pasadena: The thrift store across from Magothy United Methodist Church has been open for 69 years with very dedicated volunteers.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

As Cape Cod Turns: B is 14

As Cape Cod Turns: B is 14: Today is B's 14th Birthday. I am not sure how I have a 15 and 14 year old, but somehow it has happened. I do know that I am lucky to have bo...