Monday, May 13, 2013

B I G update on someone I've been praying about ! (Extra! Extra!)

A local gal I know from her having been a waitress at the diner, named Jessica, was involved in a horrific ATV crash that later claimed the life of her fiancee ... it happened right before Easter, and that sticks in my mind, because her she has a kid who was turning six, I think it was, the day following the holiday - and now his Mama was airlifted out of here, critical!!!

As much as I could glean, here and there, I followed her progress ... and I had heard she had been released!  But today, sitting at the counter in Ray's Diner, the door opens, in comes a small group, and --


She looked - tired - she looked well! she was dressed and up on her feet, walking around!  She had on a collar.  Now, I've worn one, and mine was foam.  Hers has metal hinges on the back, so obviously! her injury was far, far more serious!

You know what I thought about?  Those celebrities who complain about people bum-rushing them when they're sitting at a table in some no-name out of the way restaurant just trying to get there drink on and maybe the feedbag, too ... so I simply made eye contact and smiled, and she smiled back, and there was recognition, and I was just a customer, no one major in her life, so - that's a GOOD sign, too :)

Just hit me with a flood of emotions, seeing her out and about with her family <3 and realizing too she had to be HOME for Mother's Day, and that had to make the mama's in her family feeling very blessed! - including herself!!!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

LanaIndiana: The Power of Love Part 1

LanaIndiana: The Power of Love Part 1: The Power of Love I'm sorry I haven't made a YouTube video in such a long time. My heart hasn't been in it lately but I will r...

Friday, May 10, 2013

LOST IN THE 50's: 30's vintage CLUB... CICADA!!!

LOST IN THE 50's: 30's vintage CLUB... CICADA!!!: Here is another great souvenir from our spring trip in the USA...   We spent an amazing evening at CICADA CLUB !   It's a ...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

miss b and the bygones: Me made funkalicious ottoman cover.

miss b and the bygones: Me made funkalicious ottoman cover.:       I am of the school of thought that says, "It's a bargain - buy it now!"even if I don't really need it.  (...

About that house of horrors

The news is resounding with the joyous freedom of 3 young women (and apparently a little girl born in captivity, like Jaycee Dugard's two) as much as it is angry at the police for not doing there jobs over there in Cleveland, THE place where that Sowell guy had 11 bodies ... and, rightly so, rightly so!...

Now, of course, with such news, e media of all types - from professionals to bloggers like myself to social media, et al - have something to say!  I do, but it's about what someone had to say -- eerr, let me explain that! --

In one online place where I can actually still access things (as my computer is on partial crash right now), I caught a comment - "People need to watch their children more" - and as I read that, I sat here and wanted to let out a loud -


This isn't a story (at least, not what I've heard so far) about negligent parenting ... this is about Amanda Berry being old enough to have a paying job - and accepting a ride from a coworker.  This is Gina DeJesus walking home from middle school.  By that age, most parents allow there kids to walk home - they're old enough to do so, not like a child in elementary school!  And what if the parents work? That is more my thought on Gina, as the Washington Post described her walk from school as follows: "She typically covered nearly 40 blocks on the trek, which took her through thriving commercial areas, blocks dotted by churches, and neighborhoods dogged by drugs and prostitution."  (Why wasn't there a school bus, for pity's sakes!  That's a hike - and it would have prevented this abduction!  Is it because the area was poor, and Cleveland officials don't like there poor?!!)  And Michelle Knight - she was at her cousin's house : visiting a relative.  All three of these young women were doing things that almost every parent I could think of would allow an older child to do without hovering on top on them like helicopters, because they're nearly grown now! 

Including my own.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Apartment 1, cursing in the parking lot!

It was around 1.30 in the afternoon when I took my rain-pain-racked self out, to run some local errands ... believe you me! all looked ok when I left! ...

I came back and from three stops + a mailbox drop from the SUV's window, I was DEAD ... and greatly looking forward to the 7-11 coffee in my cupholder! - in fact - 'just for YOU, Miss CoCo!' <3 - we were gonna sit outside for me to have the coffee!

Now you stop me in telling my story and want to know how we can sit outside if its raining?!

Because we live on the ground floor ... and right above our heads is what I call 'the boardwalk' : the upstairs, open-air, 2d-floor, walkway.

So now I get out of my truck ... hobble over to put the coffee down by my chair, and


Someone has shattered a beer bottle very obviously from the 2d floor, and very obviously intended for the guy's truck it has crashed into a bazillion pieces in front of.

I have suspects, but the place is a ghost town now, of course --

-- and - knowing there are small children AND pets - including my own! who knows she's allowed to walk on the sidewalk with her leash dragging, just no parking lot - AND stray cats --

-- someone has to sweep it up

-- and unfortunately that SOMEONE is


Oh, you had to hear me -- it's what used to be called "blue language" -- the jist of which was:  pick up your own dammed mess!  there are kids and animals around here!  what kind of pig are you, after all?!

At least I had a cardboard box in here that was ready for trash, so, ok -- I sweep all the glass, big pieces (Icehouse brand, btw) and tiny shards (the kind that would stick in a paw), into the box -- and then, I'm walking across the parking lot, and --

A strange and strong gust of wind out of nowhere rips the box out of my hand and strews the glass all over the parking lot.

I stood there and thought to myself - This is a good sermon, Jean:  "every time I get myself picked up and collected, a typhoon comes and blows me all askew again!!!"

*Sigh*  So here I go, again, because now where it's landed - I'm worried about TIRES!

When I find this pig, I may request they drink out of cans.

Or go to AA.

Or live on the first floor.


<Clears her throat>  That is all.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Life ... is not always comprehensible

Was walking CoCo outside early this morning and I could not believe it!  My neighbor was taking a weed-wacker to the overgrown lawn by the side of her apt?!  Susan ... are they discounting your rent - is that why you're doing this?!, I asked ... to which, she laughed - her doggy is about 4 lbs and the grass is so high, Gracie literally gets lost in there!  "I've called the office, the township, and now dammit I'm making my dog a pee spot.  Feel free to let CoCo go there, too!"  ;)  Right neighborly, I'd say! ....

My extremely clean neighbor - my 'you can eat off these floors!' neighbor - Dave and I have been going back and forth - see, he thinks he $owes$ me for being so nice and doing various favors - I think he doesn't ... so finally I found us a middle ground - "Dave!  Help!  I can't bend and don't have the strength in my arms!  Could you please clean my bathtub?"  and yes I showed him how bad was bad ... and he agreed ...

So my other neighbor Karl is over here and he's still relatively sober ... and Dave knocks, comes in, and announces, "I'm here to clean your tub!"  Well the look on Karl's face was priceless ;)  He could not even begin to comprehend why Dave would just show up and clean my bathtub ;)~~~

Then there are the other things that are incomprehensible ...

My 89 year old Doris was in here yesterday - Doris who herself always tells it like it is: her mind is sharp - her body is failing -- well, yesterday -- her mind was catching up to her body ;-  I realized we were in trouble (and it wasn't a problem of, say, hearing) when she couldn't even comprehend about the woman upstairs she's steadily complained about for the past year, didn't even know of whom I was speaking ...

And speaking of the woman upstairs from her --

That would be Grandma upstairs.  Love her!  The noises are from her visiting, ADHD and possibly other neurological disorders, grandchildren - ol 'thunder feet' ;0  Anyway ...Grandma was in the hospital again ... and her daughter said she'd be coming home today, but now on oxygen ... so when I heard a car --

I was talking to her daughter and waved upstairs to Grandma, who was at the balcony, and who smiled at me.  Her daughter said, "I don't think she knows who you are anymore.  Don't feel bad!  My brothers came and she didn't know them one whit!"

And then, I did something incomprehensible:  I told her daughter that the ground-level apt next to me is available, which would certainly! make everything easier with oxygen ... why is that incomprehensible?!

Because my nerves can't take noise!  Not anymore.  Not after things I've experienced.

But you know what they say, too,

That when you love someone, you do incomprehensible things

And I do love my neighbor, ol' Grandma upstairs!

Chronically Vintage: You can't put a price tag on nostalgia

Chronically Vintage: You can't put a price tag on nostalgia:   It will likely not come as a shock to anyone who has known me for at least five or so seconds, that I am a nostalgist. I can (and on ple...

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Life, Reworked ....

One of my biggest fears when I lived in the last city I did, where I knew almost no one, and very infrequently did I have visitors (with some very notable exceptions! like my dear next-door neighbor), one of my biggest fears was that I would drop dead in the house ... and no one would find me ... and the dogs would starve to death ... and I would become a weird news item of the day, like the mummified woman no one missed in her neighborhood, either ;-

This afternoon, my neighbor and friend, Karl, in #13, dropped over ... he does that, and that's nice :)  Then, his Mom called him on the phone and said she was stopping over - "I'm in #1, Mom" ... so his Mom came here!  So I got to meet Karl's mom, and that was nice, but wait!  She was coming over to bring him dinner and as he said he was visiting a neighbor in #1 - well, she brought me some, too - A HOMECOOKED MEAL :)  Oh my WORD!  I about died and went to HEAVEN!!! 

And then, while they were here ... my former neighbor Bobby came over ... Doris in #3 stopped down ... AND Karl's son Kyle came over.  I had more people, than furniture!  Well I could have had enough spaces, actually, but you see my mind's still stuck in the rut of being a single recluse, so I have stuff all over ... I had a living room full!!!  WOW!  Me - I had that!

I have a life reworked, I realized that today!  AMEN!!!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Yard Sale 101

Just came back from attempting the upper-middle-class development up the road, yard sale - half a million dollar homes & they don't build no sidewalks?!  Anyway ... I bunked into some annoying behaviors out there, so I thought I should blog a Yard Sale 101 ...:

DO NOT have family reunions in the middle of the street.

DO NOT price things that are close to what a person would pay in a retail establishment.

If all you've got is your kids selling their anime crap or some other niche stuff, could you put a sign saying what's there, before people slug up a steep driveway?!  Part two of that is this: if you're selling stuff your kid has grown out of, and it's soft teen porn - do NOT put it on the same table with the religious books you've read & are ready to pass along!!!

If there are a line of cars snaking down a road, KEEP IT MOVING!  Do not stop to stare open-mouthed at what's for sale and for pity's sakes, don't have a reunion with Belva and stop the traffic!

If you are pushing a baby in a stroller, don't be texting, mama - there is TRAFFIC, and it may just bunk into what's in front of you, first - the baby!

DO NOT run in front of traffic! Wait until you make eye contact, smile, and wave thanks, before running across the road! 

Do you really need to drag along that baby that is going to get too much sun and whine, and ditto the preteen boy who really would rather be anywhere else?!  Babysitters!  Relatives!  Someone!!!

Bring plenty of singles and only if it's been going on for a while, ask if they can break a twenty.


Friday, April 26, 2013

The Millennial Upstairs (correction to an earlier blog post)

Earlier this week, there was a big problem with the kids upstairs from me - beyond a drunken party that got out of hand, it surely sounded like there was a young woman being beaten ... and there were other neighbors who witnessed a naked young woman being dragged by four men from one apartment to the other, as she desperately banged on doors for assistance.

I do not live in a wild place or bad area, because my nerves can't take it; I had to take necessary, anti-anxiety medication, and have been trying to deal with this emotionally all week long ... earlier this afternoon, I finally got a chance to talk to the young woman living above me whose apartment it is, and I got the "horse's mouth" story, and I learned that while they may be millennials and I'm a woman looking at a half-century mile marker, alcoholism doesn't change its face:

The young woman who sounded like she was being beaten - she is a woman who drinks and a switch flips; and in her case, she just goes nuts and starts assaulting people, including her own boyfriend ...

The woman who was being dragged?  That's another story of alcoholism, too, for this woman is mentally disturbed and trying to self-medicate with what she can purchase over the counter ... which she does alone in her apartment with the lights off and her clothes off, as well - one of these "stinkin' thinkin'" things that makes sense when you're drinking, see ... and then she hit this spot where she decided she was lonely, after all, and she wanted her brother home, so she just strolled outside buck naked four doors down and went to collect her brother from his party --

And just about everyone else there, except for her brother, was speechless and stunned at what late-stage alcoholism can look like, literally - except her brother.  The brother said, without missing a beat, "She gets like this guys!  Help me get her home, okay?"  And so they picked her up bodily and went to bring her home ...

And around that time in hearing this story, I distinctly recalled being 19, married, very drunk; a passenger in a car driven by my just as drunk husband; and he got verbally abusive, see ... and we stopped for a traffic light ... and I was 19 and drunk and it seemed to make sense for me to turn to look at the men in the car next to us and mouth "help me!" -- these good guys jumped out - ran to the passenger door - pulled out my husband - and beat the tar outta him!  Boob being wiry and young, escaped; he jumped back in the car and we drove home, and walked into my in-laws house where we were living, screaming, "MA! Some guys beat up Bobby at a light - no reason at all! Get bandages!!! We just don't know WHY!!!"

About that same form of alcoholic thinking hit this young woman as she beat desperately on her neighbors doors for "help" as her brother and his buddies were trying to get her naked, drunken self back into her own apartment for safety, because don't you know? you can't get into any trouble whatsoever! drinking by yourself in your own home! or so the alcoholic thinking spirals round & round ....

And so that is THAT, and THAT will keep me sure sober for another day!!!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Jeannee and her nerves ....

Part of a longer story, but suffice it to say for now, this old story:  I was once involved in a traffic accident that was purely the other guy's fault - he had one of those two-seater foreign jobs and tried to squeeze between stopped traffic, one of which was my Blazer and - yeahhh, wreckage!  And I have a very distinct memory of my father (who was a passenger) telling the cop, "My daughter's the nervous type ..."

Well, I am! 

In fact a previous neighbor here nailed it when - in conversation one day - I referred to myself as someone who tries to be the invisible tenant and he said, "Oh, you do that very well!"  ;) He caught himself - worried he was being insulting - but I reassured him: if he thought so, and he was my neighbor - then I've done the right thing :)  I want to be quiet, live quiet, be no trouble at all ... and with that because of my nerves and all - I need to live around people who are the same!!!

Overnight I had a problem w/ an upstairs neighbor, that seemed to me, at the time, to be a group of 18 year old kids who just got carried away - went outside and talked to 4 of the boys standing outside, and I was not resistant to being apologized to and begged not to call 911 -- okay, sure, I'll give y'all another chance ... and they did!  They quieted right down as if someone put there hand on a switch!

Went to bed around 3, got up at 8, still not thinking anything more about it - until another neighbor flagged me down when I went to take CoCo outside --

Apparently what I heard, wasn't what she saw from peeking out in fear from her front window.

Let's just say -- this is real, real BAD.  Awful bad.  To where if - what happened is what we think happened - and I don't see how many other ways to look at it! - some poor young woman, whatever kind of loud "Girls Gone Wild" kook she may just be - is going to be in therapy at least for the next few years, anyway ...

I'm shaking.  I've been, and I can't stop!

My neighbor - who has lived here since the 90s, mind you! - is literally looking into her options for moving.  And once I can becalm my nerves, I'm going to work on my application for a place I've got a reference to --

Sure, it'll be cheaper.

And there's a laundry facility on the floor.

And my friends already live there.

And its back in my home state.

But you know what the most appealing part of it is right now?!

It's with a bunch of senior citizens, and such souls are generally quiet ... they've got shot nerves, too!!!

God have mercy on us all.


the soubrette brunette: Friday Favorites #7: Retro and Romantic

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Monday, April 22, 2013

Caked Vintage Blog: Sadness is inevitable

Caked Vintage Blog: Sadness is inevitable: Lately I have been feeling uncontrollably sad.  Typically I am pretty good at manipulating my more negative emotions into positive ones, but...

What does Jessy have to do w/ my old Math class?!

About 20 years or so ago now, I was actually trying to be a community college student! ... One of the things that brought fear to the heart was that I was going to have to take a Math 101 type of course - Math having been the bane of my existence since around second grade ;- this wasn't very good news! ... the so-called college counselor (who didn't give me ALL the information, as you'll see) let me know there were options:  for example - I could take this class in a gap period, between regular semesters; the class would be about three weeks or so ....

Three weeks V a semester and get it the heck over with - oh, sign me up!!!

What the counselor at Middlesex County College of Edison, NJ, failed to fill me in on was that the gap class was an INTENSIVE.  Now, if it was a subject like English or History that I had some depth of knowledge on already, I would have probably been okay -- but to get into something that I've always struggled with and have it go at warp speed - with a teacher that there was a cultural clash with?!!  I wasn't the only student who was in tears by the end of the first week and taking a withdraw-fail, by the start of the second!!!

I thought about this earlier today with Jessy the former waitress who was in the horrific ATV crash that killed her fiancee ... saw a friend of hers and asked for an update on how she's doing???

Well, see - Jessy doesn't have health care.  And the University of Virginia hospital she's at in Charlottesville, was having far too many critically ill patients with no health care, who then couldn't afford to go to rehab - so they'd go from a hospital bed, to discharge, and have all these health problems that weren't addressed by being in a short-term physical and occupational rehab situation.  So what U Va Hospital did was to create an in-hospital rehab for such patients, so at least they would have *some* rehabilitative work before being sent back to their lives ...

This rehab is about two WEEKS or so long.

If Jessy had health care, if we as a nation had health care for everyone, for a female in her early 20s who worked good and hard for six years as a waitress and who has a child to go home & take care of, I figure she'd be sitting in a rehab facility for several MONTHS.

And of  course I thought of my old college Math class ...

Please pray with me - for Jessy and what she faces; and for all the Jessy's out there - some of whom I'm sure - whomever you are, whatever place you occupy in this world - you must know! - and for our broken system of so-called health care.

LOST IN THE 50's: A wish come true....

LOST IN THE 50's: A wish come true....: Have you ever dream to find a special piece of vintage clothes?   For me, I have always dreamt to find a felt circle skirt...   ...

The Catholic Voyager: TV star Donna D'Errico on her Catholic faith

The Catholic Voyager: TV star Donna D'Errico on her Catholic faith: In recent news, Donna D'Errico, former prime time TV star, has been talking about her renewed Catholic faith. I first read about this at...

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Love this! fashion

Vintage Vixen: Mama Mia! My Catsuit Makeover: Despite an appalling synthetic sequin trim and naff floppy cap I couldn't resist snapping up this hand-made Abba fancy dress c...

This. Is. Hard.

Today is the day that Mike - Johnny's cousin - is moving all the stuff out of Johnny's apt (right on the other side of the common wall from me), so he can store it up at his place (Johnny, you may recall, has been in the hospital about a month now & its pretty definite he's going to need long-term care) ...

So, ok - trying to be helpful, you know -- I decided to carry out the small things I could lift -- set them on the sidewalk -- then Mike can put them in his pickup truck however he wants them ...

I did okay and all until I reached for Johnny's boots.

My throat closed, my heart & my eyes fluttered, and I found myself trying to choke down tears (past that closed throat) ... those were the boots that carried mine and CoCo's friend outside to sit with us!  I wanted to cry - I mean really REALLY let myself cry, salty tears bouncing off the jawline, with sobs that say how you really feel, in a way that I haven't since he was probably about first in the hospital ... he's not walking back in here - hell's bells, Betsy, he ain't walking too much of anyplace at all and then only with medical help and hospital slipper socks!!!

It just hurt my heart.  

Daily Post Prompt

A woman named Cheri Lucas, I believe it is, wrote this excellent Daily Post Prompt:

"In the DC comics universe, a planet called "Htrae" ("Earth" spelled backwards) is populated with bizarre versions of superheroes. A Seinfeld episode made the idea of this Bizarro World popular, where the characters encountered their opposite selves.  Craft a scene in which you meet an opposite version of yourself -- or a story in a bizarre, backwards world."
 That's actually very simple for me to do!  The opposite of what Jeannee is today, right now, sitting here typing this out, is the Jeannee I thought I would grow up to be when I was in high school (especially the latter years) :  a happily married mother of at least six children, a homemaker; someone surrounded by family and pets and as many beautiful and neatly-kept items as I see now in online blogs ... and in walking through the Target store, like I did earlier today ... There are some people's blogs that I follow just because they are the opposite version of myself, because they are living the life that I thought I would grow to have -- so reading them, I guess you can rightly say!, delivers me to Htrae!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Walmart's bench ...

I had big plans for the 'Big City' today, but wasn't too sure how much I could actually do, what w/ the fibromyalgia kicking up ... gamely, I went down and 

and I got in the checkout line of Walmart and 

oh, honey ;-

I was too fatigued & overwhelmed w/ body pain to even consider driving the 16 miles back home

Usually when that happens, I'll sit in my vehicle and rest first BUT - argh!  Sunday - 'the world' is at Walmart (apparently no one goes to parks or anything anymore ;- ) - and so I knew I would be constantly jarred by incessant honker-gesturers impatient for me to pull-out so they could get the space that yeahhh I wasn't planning to vacate --

ergo --

I decided to take the bench right inbetween the two doors - yes, one marked entry, one marked exit, but they're interchangeable - 

well, let me tell YOU!

I have not enjoyed peoplewatching so much since the last time I found a mall I could smoke cigarettes in while doing so!!!

It was the most interesting parade of humanity I have seen in - well, forever!  In fact what skittered across my mind was something available on the Chictopia website, that I have always before sighed and rolled my eyes at ('dammed trashtalk is everywhere in this day and age!') but how appropriate it seemed today! - it's called - wait for it --

'Everybody is Ugly'  ;)~~

I don't even know how long I was there - but apparently it was quite a while, because the Greeter started glaring at me in an un-greeterly manner ;)

Hey!  I'm resting AND having FUN :) 

And I'm going to do it again, real soon!!!  

Friday, April 12, 2013

God put Hurtado there ....

Remember this, what the hero firefighter has said:  "Hurtado said he was a bit emotional talking about the experience "not because of what I did - more because the grace of God decided to put me there that afternoon. I could have picked the other Home Depot. God decided for me to go the Home Depot that I hardly ever go to and be able possibly to help a person and save their life.""  

A Parent.

People look at me quite oddly when they see me "pulling loose hair" out of CoCo - as in : "whatever is she doing to that poor dog!"  ;-

Let me clarify this, in several dimensions ...

It doesn't hurt her; I don't pull, but take the loose hairs and white tufts, off her.  She doesn't walk away when I do this.  She doesn't give a warning growl or nip - nothing like that! 

I do this because - if I don't do this - she chews on it (isn't loose hair from your head, especially if its too long and falling out, annoy and itch the hell outta YOU?! it does me!) and then we have problems:  upset stomach///having to run outside to chomp grass to settle it; coughing like a cat with a hairball because hair is so dry! ...

One more thing:  if I do this outside, then it's not in the carpet to be vacuumed up :)

Yeahhh, I am a pet mommy <3

A Parent?!

I was just in the dollar store and was quite taken aback when - as I paused where the aisle T--ed - there was a little girl walking around holding a puppy!!!

The animal had no leash on "in case of", either ... I looked around, figuring a girl of about 7 had to have a parent, yes?!  

Ahhh, there's Mom :  with her hands full between a case of soda and the biggest multi-roll pack of toilet paper - so no available hands "in case of".

Did I mention that Mom, who was mid to late 20s, had on an Ozzy Osbourne baseball cap AND her license plates read "N2Ozzy"?!

Other customers were caught between astonishment like I had and "oh that's a cute puppy!" ... when I got to the register, I smiled at the asst manager working the cash & said, "Gee!  I see you sell cocker spaniel puppies now, too!"

She looked at me like I just told her she had a second head growing out of her shoulders.

Then, she looked down the line - and about lost it!  "M'am!  That girl and puppy have to wait outside!!!"

The mother repeated this to the daughter ... who walked over rightnextto, but NOT outside, the door.  And stood there with a defiant mug on her face, giving me the laser death stare.

Gee ... I wonder from whom she picked that up?!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


LOST IN THE 50's: Fun at CATALINA ISLAND!!!: Sorry guys!!! You have perhaps noticed our absence these last 3 weeks...   We were on vacation far, far away from home....   ...

Monday, April 8, 2013

It's a weird day for yoooou ...

221 Newman St, Metuchen, NJ 08840: 221 Newman St, Metuchen, NJ 08840 —

I was just websurfing to wake-up, you know ... and I stumbled across something weird as hell ... my old friend Sylvia - this was her address w/ her mom ... both are deceased now, yeahhh, I knew that, of course -- but to see there longtime home for sale?!  As soon as I saw the chandelier I was like - whoa!

So you know that song - "it's a new day for yooooou"?  I think I just slightly changed the lyrics, to fit the occasion more, yeahhh ;-

Friday, April 5, 2013

A type of Gratitude List (Fri, April 5, 2013)

I know all about Gratitude Lists ... I believe in them ... I've written (and typed!) them out.  But I was just reading what a friend ALSO writes:  "3 things I did right today" - and boy! has that struck me!  Because as I sit here right now I have not even gotten to the shower (& its 10:48 pm), nor have I made any important phone calls or visits this week ;(  So a list of things I did right (starting w/ today) ???  Yeahhh, I think that'll help!  So, here it goes:

I sat outside w/ CoCo in the sunshine & made her day <3  In fact, speaking of CoCo - she ate very well because Mommy has done her shopping for her sweetheart :) 

I didn't drink.  I didn't run amuck.

I didn't do anything that was immoral, unethical, or a felony.

I didn't overexpose myself in my clothing choices.


Thursday, April 4, 2013

The words of Dr Pettit - my heart resonates!

I pinned this Oprah transcript I came across quite accidentally, while researching someone else ... Dr Pettit is the only survivor of a horrific home invasion that took the lives of his 2 daughters & beloved wife.  Oprah interviewed him.  There were things he said that I just sat here reading them and - I had to stop & scribble them down in my notebook!  I pinned the article.  And now, I want to share them on my own blog:

Forgiving the essence of evil is not appropriate.

(About people telling him to live in the moment)  "That's ok for people who have a past they can touch and a future they can dream for - but when you feel like alot of your past is gone and there's no future, the present loses some meaning"  (He then talks next about his faith - specifically, how his belief in an afterlife, and especially about being reunited with his family - have kept him from suicide)

I just don't think you can lose your whole family and have closure.  There's a jagged hole in your heart & in your soul that - over time - the waves of goodness maybe smooth the jagged edges, but the hole remains. 

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Broccoli thoughts on Easter ....

My mind has gone through many! Easter memories approaching this holiday, but the one that is forefront in my thoughts right now is the broccoli story, and it doesn't even involve this day! ....

You have to understand one of these unwritten but observed! family rules I had in my family of origin, that also applied to me, when I started working:  you NEVER, EVER called anyone when they were at work unless what you had to say involved blood ... an ambulance and/or something w/ sirens ... in today's parlance, I would say 'domestic terrorism' - in other words - something so alarming, so out of the ordinary, something that definitely classified as a real emergency! 

So naturally my father was quite shaken when - during his workday - he was told:  "Your wife is on the phone, Art"! 

I think I was right around 4, 5? when this happened ... my mother had started to prepare dinner and - I hated broccoli.  It was one of the few foods that this fat little foodie kid here, had a temper tantrum about, and - just seeing my mother prepare it - I was already throwing a fit!

I guess it was just a day that I got on my mother's last nerve ;-  She actually called my father at work, described the problem, and said, "Arthur, she likes YOU best!  So by the time YOU drive home, figure out a way to get her to eat it - goodbye!!!

Oh-kay ...

My father, bless his heart, actually did just that!  So here is my Dad story, about broccoli, that happened on just another 'ordinary' weeknight:

He looked at me with great seriousness as we sat down to dinner - "Jean, you like spinach, right?"  I nodded with enthusiasm.  Maybe it was the Popeye cartoons, but I loved it!  Dad nodded and leaned forward, "Do you know what broccoli is?  Broccoli is the brother of spinach!"

My mother was now looking across the table at him like 'he's gone mad, I tell you!'

Dad continued in this serious vein, "So, therefore, if you don't eat his brother, spinach will be mad."

Oh!  I didn't want spinach to be mad, now!

I did, in fact, eat my broccoli!  Never liked it until I discovered pasta salads as an adult, BUT

I always, always remembered Broccoli's Brother

and my beloved Dad <3

Thursday, March 28, 2013

In Search of A Soul: Co Parenting with a Sociopath: Teaching a Child that God is a Bad Guy: Are Sociop...

In Search of A Soul: Co Parenting with a Sociopath: Teaching a Child that God is a Bad Guy: Are Sociop...: Warning: CONTAINS RELIGIOUS CONTENT! I believe wholeheartedly in compassion and tolerance. It is not our place to force our moral judgmen...

Jessy, her daughter, & Cody

Jessy is one of the bubbly young waitresses here at Ray's Diner in town.  She has a 5 year old daughter (from a previous relationship) and even tho I don't know about this part, I'm pretty sure Mom and daughter were making big plans for Easter WHICH THE VERY NEXT DAY IS THE DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY!!!  Can you imagine how excited this child had to be?!

Had to.  Past tense.  Because this little girls life has suddenly altered ...

Jessy had a boyfriend, named Cody ... and like good ol' country people like to do, Jessy & Cody went out for a ride together on Cody's ATV.

They wrecked.

Cody is gone, and Jessy had to be airlifted to an advanced trauma center at the University of Virginia: she's critical -she's no better, but then again, she's no worse, say her friends, who are walking around in shock.

I'm walking around in shock!

It's one of these eternal questions that I still can't answer, that a friends mother asked me in anguish when her daughter died way too young - Jeannee, why her and not me?!  I've lived my life - she has a son to raise!

I don't know ... honest to God, this one I don't have an answer to!!!  Jessy should be, you know, running orders, getting ready for her daughter's big day, enjoying her time with a guy she likes!  And Cody - here's a young man who may have just been considering "well now I'd have a readymade family right here" - which around these parts is usually considered a good situation ...

For everyone involved, I'm simply asking for prayers, please!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My blue coat

The long blue winter coat that I wear - it has a whole story connected with how it came to be : a life event  that I can use to lead several stories:  a good Dad story; a religious story; an acceptance story --

-- but last night it 'grew' another story .... one that hits into the whole sensitivity issue that a dear blogging friend, Lauren, of "" has recently written about (she's an excellent writer! I would definitely put her blog in the category of 'more than just another fashion blog'!) ...

I walked into 7-11 and there was a cashier who isn't usually "on" too much - so when she saw me, she was very excited!  WHERE DID YOU GET THAT COAT?!  Apparently she is having great difficulty in finding a woman's full-length, to the back of your knees, winter coat in women's sizes:  they aren't showing them, except for what she referred to as "offline", and not being an 'offline' shopper, she is wary of something she can't physically try on ...

In talking about it (Burlington Coat Factory, up in NJ; my Dad bought it for me, and isn't THAT a story!), I realized that this coat was purchased in

1998 (circa).

The cashier was very complimentary about how its held-up and etc, while meanwhile I was standing there making a cuppa coffee feeling like I was looking down the wrong end of a periscope --

15 years ago?! 

It really has been 15 years since my Dad was able-bodied (and able-minded!) enough to walk around with me?!

It fed into another conversation I had last night, also ... a conversation I've been having in different aspects, with different people, in different venues:  that I haven't really felt - well - for lack of a better term! - bulletproof -- meaning that no matter what happened to me, what I did, what I got myself into -- someone had my back.  Actually, several someone's had my back ... but my Dad most of all <3

Dad at one time said he didn't understand people anymore ... that he always felt I would - could - should! - meet someone, fall in love, and then that person would be someone my Dad, my parents, could 'turn me over' to, in complete confidence, that I would be as unconditionally loved, and protected, and never be out there all by myself in the world, as my parentage (especially Dad!!!) did for me --

And That Never Happened

And that wrong end of the periscope feeling?

That's about feeling that I am further and further away from knowing what that's like in an everyday basis.

Will I ever experience that again ... this side of Eternity?!!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

(Sucked into?!) "The Shield"

I am, most definitely, a crime buff:  true crimes, police shows, English mysteries ...

... of the more modern-day, gritty reality in a "dammed dirty old city" shows - Hill Street Blues was the first one that I remember in that genre that stuck to me, became part of me - the vocabulary, the episodes, the characters ... The absolute #1 of all time (in my humble opinion) will always be "NYPD Blue", with my tv boyfriend, Andy Sipowicz, who always stepped out in style, spoke in Andy-isms, and dammit it to hell, came back each and every single time you thought he was counted out! ....

I watched "The Wire" enough to follow it, enough to recommend it to someone who enjoyed it, too - but eventually it just hit me as a very dark show - one that turned my head around backwards and inwards, to a very depressed place, a hole it would suck me into - and that's not good for me!  As someone recently said to me about such dark shows - "No, no, Jean!  Go w/ The Six Million Dollar Man!" - nostalgia, innocence, a ending where all the characters find something to laugh about ... and I've done that, and shall continue to do so, with many shows in that genre! ... But about those dark police shows --

I was afraid of "The Shield" when I realized (dashing through Wiki entries) what it was - and where it could take me emotionally ... so for quite a while now - seeing it pop up on Hulu, and Amazon -- it wasn't something I thought I should be "as close as to give a kiss to" next to the computer screen, watching it ...

And then

I did

You can even say -- I binged.  Beginning to end the poor dog didn't even get to sit outside with me on this nice day and I didn't get too much sleep last night because

I. Just. Had. To. Finish!  This was a show that gripped me like adjustable to fit in the waistline pants!!! and especially in more recent tv shows - with there emphasis on the dead, the undead, the sucking (vampires as well as soft porn) - there is, sadly!, very few shows I can say THAT about ;-

YES - dark, alot to pull this lady blogger here into the spot that "The Wire" did BUT --

Even tho it was quite dark, quite intense, not one you could be caught snoozing thru!  ( there were even times I had to go back because I didn't quite catch what was said )  there were other parts to this show that captivated me -- and -- in no particular order:

The interiors of people's living spaces & there varying styles of decor.

Dutch Wagenbach:  a tv boyfriend, yes! someone I wouldn't mind AT ALL sitting around in my pajamas in the morning over coffee discussing his profiling and crime knowledge!

How deeply there lies and deceptions affected even peripheral people - especially the children!  I wrote a little bit about the Macky kids, post Witness protection, before the show even swam out to that buoy, and I want to work on that some more (errr -- after I rest!).

The friendships in here: both the kind of friendships that lead you to the bad places (i.e. The Strike Team), as well as the sustaining ones (i.e. Dutch & Claudette).
I know I want to go back and watch this all over again - for at least the reason that each episode has a theme name and I like to try to see if I can 'catch' all the references to that title :) 

I know I have email, other shows, YouTube videos, and people who are wondering if I'm off frolicking somewhere ;) , to catch up on first!  And sleep!  let's not forget THAT SMALL DETAIL (zzz) ;)

I did recognize one thing missing here, tho:  someone to watch the show with - a person you sit down and watch the show with every week, and you have your own cozy place, and lines in the show, and shared looks, and long conversations, about what you're watching ... CoCo doesn't really watch tv - in fact, she doesn't like alot of sirens and gunshots !

If this was one of 'your shows', I'd love to hear what you thought about it!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Imprisoned in my Bones: Mary, Untier of Knots

Imprisoned in my Bones: Mary, Untier of Knots: Mary, Untier of Knots Early in the morning I was rushing to great dressed while keeping one eye on the clock hoping that I wouldn'...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The chronicles of an eccentric: Sydney Love Vintage Show

The chronicles of an eccentric: Sydney Love Vintage Show: Over the weekend was the  Sydney Love Vintage fair ! These fairs are always a highlight in the Sydney vintage scene, but this one was extra...

Friday, March 15, 2013

MIS PAPELICOS: Currently Loving / Encantada con

MIS PAPELICOS: Currently Loving / Encantada con:                  Dolce & Gabbana  A/ W 2013-2014 Collection                                                             ...

Saturday, March 9, 2013

My neighbor & friend, Johnny

I am so drained, I feel like I went around w/ Dracula!, I kid you not! ...Look - finally getting out of the snowbank I was plowed into today, I did make it down to the hospital to see my next-door neighbor & friend, Johnny, and feeling bad I hadn't gotten there earlier in the week - after all, they pulled him outta here last Sunday! - and knowing he wasn't good -- but not realizing how bad was bad, either --

The very short form is that he had untreated pneumonia which led to BOTH  a heart attack & a stroke -- a stroke that has taken his ability to talk, to walk, and to control his bowels ...He's 61 years old, had a rough stretch of the last few years between an on-the-job injury that ended his working career and a divorce he was gobsmacked by, and just last week, we were having a conversation about -- well, it was just last week, after all! and NOW ;-

I was able to coax a smile out of him (several, in fact) and even got him to work with the physical therapist in trying to regain his ability to sit up on the side of a bed ... and I saw on the whiteboard nurses notes - he's not eating much and practically has to be hand-fed - apparently he has use of his hands and arms - he's just too sick, overwhelmed, and depressed, to want to do feed himself ...

On the QT, I was told he'll never be able to live independantly again, drive his truck -- I imagine the person would have put playing his banjo in there, too, if he knew about it! 

Then again - very dire predictions were made about my mother when she had her stroke - and she lived another 12 years! and did regain some ability - alot more than they said she would!!! 

I'm looking at this, and I'm praying about it, and here are my thoughts right now:  I took care of my Dad, and it about finished me - not that I wouldn't do it again! - for my Dad.  I don't think I have it in me anymore - and, honestly, if one visit (which yeahhh comes w/ a 32 mile drive) makes me this tired --

-- but I tell you what:  I can time it better and get it around his mealtime, and maybe I can encourage him to eat like he should. 

And, even more importantly than that,

remind him he's got a friend in this world

yeahhh, I can do THAT!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Fashion I DON'T want delivered to my email, ty!

I've been a true crime buff since I was a little girl and yeahhh how that all started is a story in and of itself! -- Suffice it to say, just about any way one human being can shed blood of another, I've read, researched, and///or watched on the small screen!  From that comes a first cousin: the tv shows about having been stalked, or disappeared, or surviving impossible odds, like so --

-- and in one of these I found the story of a decent, good woman - a single parent -- whose very unusually-named daughter got involved with a predator ... who ran away from home to be with him ... who of course couldn't get too much help from the law, even tho this was a juvenile, because of the caseload ... who basically did her own detective work and when she found where they were  holed up, she called the law, who swooped in and arrested the guy ...

-- and very sadly this didn't become a homespun tale of mother & daughter reunited -- oh sure the mother was more than willing to work through the issues, go to counseling, whatever it took -- but the daughter could only see the benefits of belonging to the creep : she moved in with HIS mother and essentially turned her back on her own, having at best a strained relationship, instead going through her sisters to communicate, when she did so at all ...

So I am sitting here at a time when the so-called "great outdoors!" has gone into "let's have a BLIZZARD!" mode, websurfing, and I see that someone has a fashion blog w/ this same first name!

So, ok, I go in to check ... oh yes!  I would know that face anywhere!  At least now she's in college, is engaged to be married, dresses very well (more on that later!) ... and in her "about me" she declares her love for her siblings, but nothing about the devoted mother who rescued her from a life of hell ...

If you're still using your mother to wipe your feet on - if you're still carrying the grudge of a 13 year old girl, in the body of a 20-something woman - I definitely DO NOT want YOUR fashion, however much I like it!, delivered to my email - no thanks!!!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Atlanta Resident Freedom Wright Named Allstate Give Back Day Hero

Atlanta Resident Freedom Wright Named Allstate Give Back Day Hero

Never,EVER buy me a ticket to --

The Daily Prompt asks, "Is there a place in the world you never want to visit? Where, and why not?"

Anything 3d world - we are talking no sanitation, where I am in grave physical danger of my life 'just' by dint of being female and being a Christian!  Where temperatures reach triple digits every. single. dammed. day! so that you feel like a piece of ground beef sitting on aluminum foil in a dish in your oven!!!  

Today In History

March 3, 1991
Motorist Rodney King was severely beaten by Los Angeles police in a scene captured on amateur video.

I could hear my mother's raised, distinctly Brooklyn, voice as soon as I opened the back door - oh, Gaaad!  She was mad as hell and verbally trashing - well, it had to be my father!  There were generally two targets of her anger:  me and my Dad.  Feeling guilty as hell for leaving him alone, I ran up the couple of stairs into the kitchen and

Ran right into my Dad ;-

"She's not yelling at you?!" I was stunned

 He was equally stunned.  "No!  She's on the phone!  WITH HER BROTHER!"

"NO WAY!" I yelled at my father - my mother's brothers - well it's all part of a much longer story that I'm not going to go into right now, but -- suffice to say THIS:  the sun rose and set on them - there is no way in the world she would be --


I stood in the opening between dining room and living room, staring at my mother sitting in her usual chair SCREAMING AND TRASH TALKING like I was seeing a pod burst open with an alien creature - and - I essentially was! because I had never, EVER seen her talk on the phone to her brothers LIKE THAT!

My Dad couldn't help:  he had been napping, if I remember correctly, and awakened by the YELL

When she got off the phone, I (bravely!) ventured forward -- "Mom?  Mom, WHAT HAPPENED?!!"

I couldn't even imagine!!!

My Mom had been sitting in her burgundy recliner with the cane inserts along the sides ("it gives your body good air - yeah, Jeannee!")  watching tv and rolling her therapeutic thing that basically looked like silly-putty, that she had used since her stroke a decade ago, which worked out the muscles in her hand and sat on the little table next to her chair, which also held the phone and her water, that she drank out of a measuring cup ...a very normal, typical day for her, in her housecoat and shell-pink lipstick and 80s oversized round glasses... and the Rodney King video rolled into her suburban living room --

Three of her brothers were retired LAPD.  She called one now, screaming and yelling -- YOU GANGED UP ON HIM!  HE WAS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND YOU CONTINUED TO HIT HIM!!!  --

Now, I've cleaned that up (TREMENDOUSLY!) but that was the jist of it :  my mother was outraged and triggered, from her own earlier life -- a life of deprivation and abuse that she had shared w/ her brothers as they were all growing-up -- 

And maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, and maybe she wouldn't have yelled so long and so hard IF my uncle had only said -- "Gee, Steph, that's outrageous!  That's rare!  Those are rogue cops!"

He didn't.  He didn't see anything wrong with it.  Possibly, he may have even admitted to doing the same ;-

Here's what really stuck with me that day, and has stuck with me ever since:  My mother saw a wrong.  She got upset and talked about it to someone - and not 'just' someone : someone who was in the same pool where this happened.  And the person essentially told her to get over it, go fly a kite.  AND MY MOTHER DIDN'T BACK DOWN, OR CHANGE HER MIND, OR MAKE NICE:  SHE STAYED TRUE TO HER  GUT FEELINGS.

Thanks, Mom <3

So, yeahhh ... I surely remember this (and not just for seeing him on Dr.Drew, either!) - for this, and for another incident that mebbe I'll share at another time .... God bless your soul; may you rest in peace, Mr King... and if there is a heaven, Mr King -- I hope you've met my mom!!! 

The Veil of Chastity won an award - congrats!

I'm a reader of the blog called "The Veil of Chastity", and today I read that she has won an award - congratulations!!!  The award itself has a German name and a whole meaning behind it, too.  Almost all of the questions are religious-based; she, in turn, nominated four other bloggers (not myself) and asked 11 questions of her own (again, almost all spiritually-based) and so it goes ...

I would personally love to tackle these questions on my own blog :)  However, like The Daily Prompt, it may just take me some time to get to them - at least today I have 'an excused absence' : my neighbor was taken away by ambulance this morning ;0  It looks heart-related, and all prayers are appreciated!!! ... Poor guy's in rough shape, obviously! - I'm just shaken-up -- so -- that said, let me tackle an easy-enough question that is NOT God-based :

"Is your refrigerator door clear or do you have stuff on it?"

Until the exterior stairs started really going bad, these apartments I would say were in decent-enough shape BUT had what I personally consider little niggling things - i.e. nothing I would go talk to the landlord about fixing, but little things like - there are supposed to be TWO bifold doors on the bedroom closet, not one!

And -- the bottom door shelf on the fridge is unuseable because it's cracked AND without a 'bar' to hold the items in ;(  

That said, the shelf above can hold the "smalls" (no chuckling, Brit readers ;) ), which, for me, consist of the following:

Cocktail sauce (Lent ... Fish Friday ... I have been VERY lazy, tho, and gone alot w/ pizza! - as well as --) Peanut butter & jelly; also, mayo (now, please!  I'm not Southern by birth (I just got here as fast as I could;)) which means I do NOT glop it all over everything and anything!  it is for tuna, and tuna only!!!)
Parmesian cheese
Italian dressing (because a neighbor gave me lettuce & that reminds me I should get into that again!)

How To Propose To A Rockette

Friday, February 22, 2013

CoCo's Lenten Mizpah

I had a rough time overnight - body pain, much more than the usual lousy normal, due to a combination of moving things in my storage locker yesterday with weather arriving today ...

So around 5.30 this morning I decided to go to "7" : get the papers ... and breakfast ... except there was a problem w/ the idea of a breakfast sandwich already made-up, hot, waiting in the warmer:

Meat.  And it's Friday in Lent.

I figured - ok - well - I'll just have to throw it out, the meat ... can't reheat it - don't have a micro & I haven't yet gotten around to getting a toaster-oven ... and CoCo doesn't like breakfast meats, strangely enough: she of the "eat everything! I'm partially beagle, after all!" variety ;)

So I am sitting here and CoCo is giving me The Eye : her hyperextended staring "can I hypnotize you?!" look she gives me whenever I'm eating something like soup, that she knows she's getting part of it ... "You don't want THIS!" I laughed ... and then ... she. just. wouldn't. stop. staring!



And that was her Lenten blessing to me, that I didn't have to waste food, and didn't have to listen to the niggling voice inside that was whining that I should eat it, rather than waste it.


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Icing On My Cupcake: Books, Books, Books!

The Icing On My Cupcake: Books, Books, Books!: On my '30 by 30' list, I've got 'Read 15 new books'. I put this on there to remind to me read. I absolutely love to read. I always have. Wh...

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Daily Prompt for Feb 14, 2013

I don't usually read Michelle's Daily Prompts in writing, which this wonderful woman writes from her blog (and is delivered to my email), ergo, you may just see some of these 'out of time' ;)  However, I actually happen to be 'on-time' today!  (Imagine so! ;) )  Her Daily Prompt for Val Day is as follows:

It's Valentine's Day, so write an ode to someone or something you love. Bonus points for poetry!

The other day I was walking out my front door to go someplace, and I turned back around and said through the open door - "love you!!!".  My neighbor was outside and he looked at me very queerly, as he knows I live alone - or so he would say.  "I'm talking to CoCo!" I had him cracking up in laughter when he realized that I said that to my 16 year old doggy ;)  !

Its true:  I do love CoCo <3 and here is my Ode To CoCo:

I love you because - along w/ your sister of the heart, the late beloved Myndie Ruth - you proved I would be a good mother (dog or otherwise!) ... because you love me ... because you love me even when I'm whiny///irritated ... because you loved your sister so very much! and you even have loved the unloveable, people who need///needed to be rescued from there wounds, as much as you did, when you came to live w/ us in 1999! ....I love you because you loved your Grandpa, even tho you didn't know him when he was well, and he was quite unsure about you for a while - even while he was still uncertain, and rattling around in his dementia - you loved him! ....

I love you because we have such a long, shared history together.

I love you because you're still here, and that means that even a wounded, lonely soul like myself still gets to say "I love you!!!" out loud!!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Rest in peace, Jennifer & Madison Leigh

Jennifer was a Catholic woman.  She was also a happily married woman who was greatly looking forward to her first baby ever, a baby she had registered for in a store, and already planned on naming Madison Leigh.

So something, somehow, somewhere, had to go very seriously wrong with that baby, for Jennifer, her husband, and another relative, to drive from upstate New York, to Maryland, and undergo a very late term abortion - she was 8 months along - that was going to take part not in one fell swoop, but over days, with not even hospital admission inbetween, but a stay in a hotel.

I think that's where things started to go very wrong - where it went from a personal and private tragedy in the life of a marriage and perhaps even a crisis of faith - because it was treated like an outpatient procedure - like some celebrity getting a facelift trying vainly to avoid the National Enquirer!

She should have been in a hospital, not in an abortion clinic - whatever side of this issue you sit on, the woman belonged in a regular hospital, and not an outpatient clinic in an office park!!!

And so now there are two physical deaths, and a very devastated family, and a grieving greater world ...

If anything at all is to come out of this investigation by the state of Maryland, if anything is to change, can it be that such serious medical procedures belong solely to a hospital - not a hotel - where when it's over, the woman is supposed to ride in a car for approx. 8 hours - just to go home to die?!!

Did this pee you off???

Mike Tyson on ’Law & Order: SVU’: Convicted rapist plays victim

I thought it was him!  Then, I did a Google search, and it was confirmed.  I read about the controversy in casting him into the role of a victim ... how the producer (or someone Big) said 'but he's paid for his crime' ... and here are my thoughts on this:

Mainly because of sobriety, and somewhat because of the maturity that should come with age, I'm thinking///hoping! that Mike Tyson is turning himself around from his former violent ways - AND that he chose to make a major acting debut in such a fashion because it would really make us pay attention & say "whoa!  what's changed with THIS guy?!" 

And there is something else I wonder:  did something like this happen to Mike Tyson?   It might explain an awful lot about him :  the rage, the violence, the literal & figurative chest-beating ... the assaults that go well beyond the assaults he made a living for, in a blood sport - and why he even chose that to make his living in, in the first place.  In fact, looking at this case portrayed on L & O SVU makes me wonder if, for example, Mike bit off someone's ear because the guy said something or did something that provoked that earlier, untreated wound, much like Reggie Rhodes.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

If you ever wondered why women fashion blog ......

Tilly's Notions: Heavier Things...: The wind has left my blogging sail a little bit and I am unsure how to proceed. It seems that people may be getting the wrong impression of...

Saturday, February 9, 2013

And how long for these environs?!

You know, I didn't think that living here, in this apartment, was anything that I could call "permanent" - because of financial issues - i.e. "well I think I can do this for another year, ok, but then ...???"  When I say another year - I'm talking until next November.  And this is Feb.  So it was something in the far back of my mind, surely, but not the forefront of my mind

not until today, that is !!!   ;-

I went and ran some errands and that was mostly okay, you know ... but it was tiring, between the usual stuff I carry in my body + the sinus infection ... all I could think of was - oh, boy!  I'm coming home, putting the leash on CoCo, we'll sit out front, and maybe other people will come out, too, and she can walk companion to companion :)

and there's an envelope taped to my front door - to everyone's front doors

Our landlord has taken out a $3,000,000 note - and what he did with that money, I have no g-d idea, because the place is maintained, yeah, but there are no major capitol improvements anywhere -- anyway, he couldn't pay his note, so now a bank owns it, and you know what that means:  send your rent check to this here lawyer's post office box in this here envelope that we prepaid the postage on because we also want you to get a copy of your lease

yeahhh so we know how long we're stuck with you, in case we have to foreclose and sell

My stomach is humming with anxiety (not boisterously, no, but that's because of some good meds) and I'm just - not happy.  I was talking to several neighbors about it; the one who has a job he goes to every working day, and family with there own addresses that at least have a sofa if not an actual spare bedroom, is calm and cool about it as a salmon going to spawn ...

... while those of us who are disabled on fixed incomes and especially those of us with that going on already, who aren't defined by anything other than ourselves - because for whatever reason we don't have family, spouses, or significant others - are on the border between states of mad and scared ... we talked about public housing - there is actually someplace fairly decent in the next big town, which at first glance sounds like it would be capturing a dream to live there, even more than here:  middle of town, right on the bus line, right near big and little stores, well-maintained --

-- and I defined the problem two-fold:  it's a federally-owned building, so no matter what intoxicating substances your neighbors have - you can't smoke a dammed cigarette in your own home: you have to go outside.

-- another thing, one I haven't wanted to voice before:  cinder block walls.  There would be no bigger symbol for me that I've fallen with a thunk out of the middle-class, than to live with concrete walls like I'm in -- nope, I can't even write it down.  (Do they do this in England, too, or just here, with public housing? make it look like -- nope, nope, nope, not going to write it down!).

I'm having alot of scared noise inside right now, and any prayers would greatly be appreciated, whether or not you're going to a church service this weekend!!!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Things women can identify with ....

Jodi Arias Said Ex-Boyfriend Travis Alexander Had 'Bill Clinton' View of Sex - ABC News

There are a couple of things that struck me in this news story:

(1) Her quote : " I kind of felt like a used piece of toilet paper," she said."  Been there, done that - and how many women (and men!) have had this very experience!

(2) The sexual positions he deemed appropriate because they weren't technically intercourse, so, ergo, they weren't violating the "no sex before marriage" belief system ... that is the absolute most egregious form of abusing someone sexually while at the same time! you are abusing God's word and what it REALLY says!  Many good writers///books that explain this - i.e. Christopher West writing on the theology of the body is just ONE example - that really need to be taught from the pulpit so that such abuses don't continue to occur!!! 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Charm of Home: Sailor's Valentine

The Charm of Home: Sailor's Valentine: image source: Romantic Homes Feb. 2013 I always love to join Debbiedoo's Copy Cat Challenge but, I can't always find something to c...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

IKEA Hackers: Old ads on dresser

IKEA Hackers: Old ads on dresser: Materials: old ads, Ikea dresser Description: I glued old ads from a mag onto an Ikea dresser. See more of the dresser . ~ Man...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Monday, January 28, 2013

Alone Together

Alone Together

Anxiety in the house

I tried ... I really, really did  try!

But the anxiety was already roiling in my stomach as I drove up Rt. 33.

There would be no way! I could sit in a dental chair today for a procedure ;-  Hey, at least I was actually able to walk in, explain my problem, and even offer to pay for a missed session!

Here's the thing I want to say about anxiety:


And I knew that (but I didn't know if YOU my readers, knew that) ... anyway, I took myself for something good & filling to eat (because sometimes it's not having enough food in my stomach that can make it spiral even more out of control - not that I'd been able to eat much beforehand - yeahhh, too anxious!)

The food was very good, and filling! but it didn't quell the anxiety --

-- which followed me all the way back home (wheee, wheee, wheee, cried the little anxiety pig!)

I tried to lay down.

I had to get up and take some anti-anxiety meds.  Because it hasn't stopped - its still whirring and shaking away on the inside.  And I bet you --

-- yeahhh: when the meds kick in, I'll be laying back down zzzz

But you know what???

I will more than likely wake up anxiety-free :)

And that is a very, very good thing !!!

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Please pray for this family + Look into her caring bridges site, too

Flectamus genua: Kneeling Before My God: J.M.J. When I first created this blog last month, I had no idea what to call it.  I wanted it to be about my personal journey towards Our...

Elle Adore Style: Marilyn & vintage bag

Elle Adore Style: Marilyn & vintage bag: My grandmother gave me this beautiful vintage bag today. Do you like it? The look is really basic and simple, but tt's so hot over here that...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

CathoFeminism: A Plea for Compassion

CathoFeminism: A Plea for Compassion: I have not yet been at this blog project for a year, but I have already discovered how overwhelming it can be to want your voice to be hea...

Monday, January 21, 2013

The Braided Bandit: Kilauea Lighthouse

The Braided Bandit: Kilauea Lighthouse: Aloha & Happy Friday!     Yesterday, we took an inter-island flight to Oahu and then drove to the North Shore to the house we are renti...

Dandelion Daydreams: Boofing through the snow!

Dandelion Daydreams: Boofing through the snow!: Bufford LOVES the snow! I think its his favorite time of the year. He hates the heat(bulldogs are prone to overheating and have breathing pr...

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Just the facts, m'am

Women who've had an abortion have a 138% higher risk of mental health problems compared to women who've given birth, according to a 2011 article in the British Journal of Psychiatry that analyzed 22 major studies on women's mental health following abortion. Together, the studies involved over 800,000 women.

Four out of ten men whose partners had an abortion experienced chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, occurring on average 15 years after the abortion. Among these men, 88% had feelings of grief and sadness, 82% had guilt, 77% felt anger, 64% anxiety and 68% isolation.

When an unborn baby girl is at just 19 weeks' gestation in her mother's womb, her tiny ovaries already contain all the eggs she will have in her lifetime, to one day have babies of her own.  

Single women have 83% of abortions. Currently 41% of births in the U.S. are to single moms, up from 17% three decades ago. Cohabiting and single-parent families are 3 times more likely to be poor and face higher risks (compared to married families) of physical and mental abuse, dissatisfaction with life and depression.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are LIFE, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

 Planned Parenthood personnel have aborted over 5,300,000 children since 1970. That's equal to the entire population of Colorado. In its last reported fiscal year (2008-2009), PPFA clinics aborted 332,278 children, a number equal to the entire population of Cincinnati. In 2009, 97.6 percent of Planned Parenthood's "services" for pregnant women involved killing their children, and only 2.4 percent involved prenatal care or adoption referral.   A study published earlier this year found that a 63 percent increase in the use of contraceptives in Spain over a ten-year period was accompanied by a 108 percent increase in the rate of elective abortions.  The correlation between contraceptive use and recourse to abortion was noted in a 1932 article in the British Medical Journal, by a PPFA doctor in 1936, in a study done by the Margaret Sanger Clinical Research Bureau in 1940 (finding 41 percent of pregnancies of contracepting women terminated in illegal abortion, while only 3.5 percent of the pregnancies of non-contracepting women did), and by Malcolm Potts, MD, then medical director of International Planned Parenthood Federation in 1981.  In 2005, Consumer Reports ranked dead last (among 23 brands) two of the condom brands that PPFA affiliates offer free to customers, due to their rating of "poor" in strength and reliability.

(Claim: Without funding for PPFA, women will lack access to mammograms :

In truth, Planned Parenthood clinics provide no mammograms. They offer only referrals to health centers, doctors, hospitals and labs for mammograms. PPFA breast exams are done by manual palpation, similar to a breast self-exam. But as a National Institutes of Health MedlinePlus fact sheet states: "There is no evidence that doing breast self exams saves lives from breast cancer." For that, mammography is needed.)

A blogger’s conversion to altar rails and kneeling for Communion

A blogger’s conversion to altar rails and kneeling for Communion (POLL) | Fr. Z's Blog – What Does The Prayer Really Say?

Friday, January 18, 2013

Silver anniversary - but not as I imagined ...

I recently realized that I'm celebrating my silver anniversary this year - yes, that's right, that's right!

It is 25 years since fibromyalgia///chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome, became my 'other half' ...

I was never an athlete, but I was someone who had been too dangerously close to crisis for many years; in fact, in my very early 20s, I distinctly remember taking one of those tests where you get points for stress situations in your life ... if you were approaching a 300 score, you were considered having a too-high level, and if you didn't divorce yourself from that type of lifestyle, you were in danger of getting very sick... the big ones of course being heart disease and high blood pressure - adrenal fatigue wasn't even talked about then, nor was yeast overgrowth - anyway -- 

Mine was just over 500.

I remember staring at that paper and breaking out in a cold sweat ... at that time, I wasn't ready to stop drinking ... but, beyond that - how DID I stop all the OTHER crisis situations in my life?!  For example:  my ex-husband had custody of our daughter - how in blazes was I supposed to stop THAT?!!

And then, at age 25, I had a car wreck that I walked away from - which was incredible to the responding officers as well as the flatbed driver, who had pick up my car engine from the other side of the road - but was never, ever to be physically over ....

It's my silver anniversary, and I'd sure like it to be one where some doctor somewhere found a cure!  I often say that I've spent so much of my adult life sick and disabled, I wouldn't know any other way to live - but you know what???

I'd like to find out how!!!!!

dee dee's vintage retro delights: Our 1950's themed wedding day

dee dee's vintage retro delights: Our 1950's themed wedding day: Hi Everyone, well a week tomorrow we have been married for 1 week. I can't believe where the time has flown its been non stop since l...

Thursday, January 17, 2013

U.S. researchers find new disease carried by deer ticks

U.S. researchers find new disease carried by deer ticks

The open land - a problem for old paws ...

My dear, sweet CoCo is 16 ... and while she's still eating, peppy, goes outside, its her back legs that are getting weaker and weaker - some days, more than others ...

I happened to turn around in time today to catch what her problem is when she goes through the kitchen - the only part of this apartment that doesn't have carpet - its linoleum, and because she can't get a good grip on the floor, she was sliding, in danger of wiping out! EXCEPT I had tossed a throw rug kind of in the middle of the room and so she was doing this weird stretched-out gasp-I-can-make-it! to the throw rug, just to get through the kitchen!  the poor thing!!!

So I went into the kitchen and put the two throw rugs I had end-to-end -- which only took care of half the kitchen!  "She'll get in the exact middle and be stranded - there's still enough lino that she'll wind-up flat on her belly, looking at me with an embarrassed smile, hopefully not hurt!!!"  No, that wouldn't do!!!

I know I have more scatter///throw rugs -- but they're in storage *somewhere* *to be found eventually when I go on my next archeological dig go Jean!* -- so that didn't answer the problem of what to do NOW --

So I created a "faux throw rug" - something you can do when you live alone, say, and its just you and the doggy, and you have little foot traffic otherwise --

Yep.  I tossed a blanket over that part of the floor!!!


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Thx to Ginger @ "Dwelling in House" for this meme!

Convinced--it's really not a nice enough day to sit outside, no matter what Miss CoCo believes!
Listening--to silence ... traffic outside my window
Fighting--a cold ... still?!
Reading--many things, as always :)  Picked back up "The Wisdom of Menopause" & its even more relevant than the last time - which is like saying - 'the Pope just became a more dedicated Catholic!' ;)
Needing--more coffee & a foot rub
Longing for: a relationship where I don't get sucked into trying to fix the unfixable!
Avoiding--those headache-inducing necessary phone calls ...

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

It's the thought that counts?!

Yesterday my neighbor gave me a small bag of potatoes that she had gotten at a food distribution center & didn't want - I was very grateful! because I'm quite sick w/ this %$#@#^ cold again & didn't know what I was going to eat!

Down the street from me is a thrift store ... and how often I see them load up their pickup truck w/ absolute old broken-down can't save it JUNK that people drop off at their doors.  "Well, it's the thought that counts, right???  They were trying to make a charitable donation!"  Bosh!  What thought is that, when you simply hand the junk off to someone else to get rid of?!

Same thought for the donator to a food distribution center for poor people w/ these potatoes ...


And speaking of toss ... yeahhhh ...

Listen - when you have thoughts of donating to help the poor --


Monday, January 7, 2013

PURPLE DRESS! & how-to thrift

Strawberry Freckleface: ⚡⚡ HOW TO THRIFT, CASEY STYLE ⚡⚡:   entire outfit from goodwill minus the jewelry As you may have noticed, I score a good number, okay...the ma...

A beautiful love story (we all should be so blessed!)

Observations of an Oblivious Woman: 32nd Anniversary: In September 1979, a Texan serving an LDS Mission walked into the Echo LDS Chapel in Fresno, California and saw this gorgeous brunette. She ...