Monday, October 31, 2011

Crossdressing 7-year-old boy allowed to join Girl Scouts |

Crossdressing 7-year-old boy allowed to join Girl Scouts |

This is a topic that can ignite alot of heated words, but whatever side u take on this, consider this: in the comments section, there was a person identifying as Allan D who said something really profound - my definition of profound being something that makes me stop and go "ya know - um -yeah - he has a point " - much more so than the expected statements about where is the father? why can't the mother just say no? etc. -- he says --"Can a white man join the Black Panthers if he thinks he is a black man born in a white man’s body? Can little Bobby Montoya join the AARP if he thinks he is a 70-year-old in a 7-YO boy’s body? Can a native Mexican in Mexico legally work in the USA if he thinks he is a US citizen in a Mexican citizen’s body?"

Saturday, October 29, 2011

7 things about me, tag

1.  I have, on my Hulu subscription page, shows I watched as a kid that made me cry when they were over:  the original Flipper, and Lassie <3

2.  I never, ever, EVER read instruction booklets ... for anything.  They confuse me!  I hand them to Kevin and then HE tells me what's in there, lol ;)

3.  I love what the world calls bad jokes, groaners, puns - Happy Bird-Day - cracks me up!  ;)

4.  I always knew I would wind-up marrying someone who actually liked chocolate chip pancakes from IHOP, and that happened the second time around - when he wasn't grossed-out by it, like even chocolate lovers, I thought to myself, "Uh-oh!"  ;)

5.  Through the miracle of Facebook, I've become reconnected with people I went to high school with ... now, this one guy, Marty - he has a terrific wife, Diane!  Never met her f2f, but what I read online, she's a great gal!  Now, she's a beautician, too, so I plan to have a 'professional' visit with her when I get back East :)

6.  My mother taught me to read with the NY Daily News.

7.  I bought so much pasta on sale, I think I'm going to be moving with it!

BONUS - I've been on the web since 1996.  I was really a Luddite about this stuff ... a friend back home said - hey!  we can cut down on our phone bills! - so, groan, ok, ok ...  we did that ONCE - she didn't care for an AOL private chat room, even tho it was much cheaper, because she couldn't hear my voice - but, by then, I had discovered the intrawebs!

Christmas wish list, 2011

Dinner is served!  w/ table talk 
Winter boots

Ya know .... they say "If you stop believing in Santa Claus, you get underwear!" ;) but the state of my underwear including socks is pretty poor, so ........   

Loss of favorite 'soap opera' brings tears to watchers | Living | Southlake Journal

Loss of favorite 'soap opera' brings tears to watchers | Living | Southlake Journal

See, I can't understand all these soaps being cancelled, with all the new and varied ways to watch tv ... until and unless I see it as a publicity stunt, to get everyone switched over to watching content on the internet.
Immigrants "come out" at Winston-Salem rally

"Got Papers?" - not carrying a wallet - a very insightful article, no matter what ur personal feelings are on this hotbutton issue!

Friday, October 28, 2011

From a church bulletin

“To Jesus, on the cross: You know what hurt is
and how it feels to be left behind by your friends.
You know how I feel, and I know
how you felt. I will stay with you
today, and I know that you will
stay with me. Amen.”

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Why is she handing me a butter tub?!

A while back now, I had ordered cookies from kids selling it for fundraisers ... and I've been wondering ... where are my cookies!  I want cookies ;)

So just a little while ago a very nice, very scared of a barking dog little girl came to my door and - well, she handed me what looked like a butter tub!!!  I didn't ask her because she was literally trembling because of CoCo, the poor thing ; I simply said "thanks!" and let her scurry away ...

I brought it to the kitchen, opened it - what was inside looked like commercial butter but - peanut butter ... at that point, I decided to read the label - which honestly wasn't much help at first except in telling me it had all these things I shouldn't be eating! but then in fine print - there were baking instructions.  And I think that's when the lightbulb appeared over my head, lol - what I thought would be a package of cookies, was instead cookie batter.  Ahhhhh, I see, I see, said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw ;)~~

I'll let you know how they are ..............

Monday, October 24, 2011

Forgotten 40 oz. beer at root of stabbing - Las Cruces Sun-News

Forgotten 40 oz. beer at root of stabbing - Las Cruces Sun-News

Well, lodging a weight in the wall and other things she did here - yeahhhh, maybe I'll just stay sober another day (just don't forget my coffee!)

Two friends, soldiers in Iraq, reunited after five years

Two friends, soldiers in Iraq, reunited after five years

What makes an 'unruly' airline passenger?

What makes an 'unruly' airline passenger?

Unruly, like beauty and ugly, is too often in the eye of the beholder .... Reading stuff like THIS just validates my own bad airline experience - altho, no, I wasn't what they call a "removal", I was victimized, and found no one with any authority was willing to hear what I had to say.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Rescued dog coming home to Manchester soldier | New Hampshire NEWS01

Rescued dog coming home to Manchester soldier | New Hampshire NEWS01

An absolutely fabulous story (except for what happened to Fathead), about an absolutely fabulous organization! I figured we could use some good news on this website, hey?! after what I've been posting lately (rolls eyes and sighs).

One for the books: APPLES?!!

Last night I was sitting here on my computer and this horrific noise - something was slammed hard into the side of my house right by where I was sitting ;-  It literally sounded like someone had whipped a baseball against the exterior wall!!!  But that made absolutely no sense, because my house is less than 20 feet from my neighbor's, and she surely wasn't throwing anything at my house! 

But the noise persisted.  I was afraid it was going to hit the windows and shatter them!  CoCo simply got scared, ran, and hid. 

All my flashlights were dead, so I walked outside and walked around to the alley - see I was thinking it was a kid, but there was no one there.  It was full-dark, nighttime, so there was nothing I could see ... but after the noises persisted, I went outside and moved my truck so the headlights shone in that alley - and still, there was no person to see - and that's what I was looking for:  a living, breathing, person, one I could grab and go talk to their parents about the wild life their kid was having here, and - nothing, no one.

But by that point, I was scared - scared that the window was going to be broken by what I could only tell you were baseballs - that's what it sounded like - so I shut the light.  I went into my bedroom in the back of the house and then the noise started back there, too!  I shut the light in the bedroom and the noise stopped.

So now I have this mysterious something that I have no explaination for, pounding against my house, frightening CoCo - which in a sense was a good thing, because it was giving me proof that I wasn't just "hearing this"!  I honest to God didn't know what to do!  Calling the police for unknown house noises sounded like I was a nut case, so I didn't do that; it was between 9 and 10 pm, so I didn't want to disturb my next door neighbor, who is an early sleeper (altho yes she and her boyfriend were home).  I did speak to Kevin and he was perplexed as I was, and he had no idea of what this could be about, either.

Eventually it did stop.  And I did get to sleep.

Got up this morning and when I walked into the kitchen, and specifically went over to change CoCo's water dish, which is right by the floor to ceiling window, I saw it:  outside, on my lawn - not baseballs, but APPLES.  In fact, they're all over the grass alley between the houses and my back yard.  SIMPLE :  THAT'S WHAT WAS HITTING MY HOUSE - APPLES!  NOT SO SIMPLE:  HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN, SINCE I HAVE A FENCED YARD AND OUR HOUSES ARE LIKE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND IT WASN'T MY NEIGHBOR?!

I have some theories :  the best guess idea, for right now, is that someone - possibly on the street that Ts and is just two houses away from my own - had a catapult.  It doesn't sound too outrageous, considering such things have been in the popular media, with the show Little People, Big World, for one, having the father build one and use it for an annual pumpkin throw.  I guess I'm supposed to be happy that whomever this was was stocked with apples that would have been perfect for a pie, instead of pumpkins, because can you imagine the damage that would have caused ;-

I'm glad my time to be attached here is almost over with, and I have the apples to prove it ;-

Saturday, October 22, 2011

What I did today .....

I spent money I didn't have on, on books.  Well - it was at Goodwill, which tells you it was really inexpensive AND c'mon it helps a good cause!  Of course they don't know how to run things there :  only when I was up at the register did I even see a rolling rack that - had it been in the correct place with the rest of the printed material - I would haven't even looked at the books - I would have just said "how much to roll that rack of books and dump it in my vehicle?" - well, I did get some off that rack, anyway!  so I guess I should look at it like that! 

Now of course I'm going to be with the change, living on (is this the change Obama promised me, cause that's how it's working for me!) but it's okay because I bought books!  Of course it wouldn't be so bad if the closing was Monday, but then the buyers had to send some appraiser in here and oh boy that's another story - guy's not worth salt, as my dear dad would have said! - another story there!

I am going to go READ!!!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

'The Grace of Penance'

Yesterday I hit a wall - with alot of things:  packing; "I've had it up to here with" I could fill several things in there... I slept (fitfully) ... when I got up, as I was awaiting the coffee, it dawned on me - "oh NO there are things not only behind the glass in the cabinet still to pack - there's the bottom, behind the double solid doors!"  - as much as it felt like an "oh no" groaner, it also felt - maybe? - led??? - nah, c'mon, c'mon!  I'm overworked, overstressed, overtired - oh, what's THIS?!

And so I found where some books had been stashed actually over a year ago (the stashing is another story, for another time) :  The Imitation of Christ (Thomas A Kempis) and The Imitation of Mary!!!

It was the latter I took to my table and began to (re) read ... and presently I came upon this sentence:

You can regain the grace of adoption which you threw away, for there is a second baptism:  the baptism of penance.

What immediately came to my mind, was this:  My father has died.  I'm making all the arrangements, running around like the proverbial headless chicken.  My daughter has completely fallen apart (niiiice, right?), so I'm trying to take care of her, too.  And - there's one more thing --

My father, of course, is going to be buried in a Catholic Mass.  Well, um -- in order for me to be able to receive Communion at said Mass, I need to go to Confession first.  

Except I'm time-crunched and overwhelmed and deadlined, and what this means is - oh Gaaad.  I'm going to have to do a face to face penance with a priest.  

I have a strong dislike for f2f.  Give me a dark booth and my knees complaining and the whisper of the window gate opening, any day!!!

I had no choice - not if I wanted to receive.

The Father was very gracious about it!  He literally offered me a choice of rooms in the rectory, a choice of seats - if I remember correctly, I could have even had a smoking cigarettes the two of us sinners, option!  In the end, I went with the dining room table and the doors closed and locked and signs on them.

And then came the really hard part:  I had to look this guy in the face (when I hesitated and hemed and hawed, he gently moved himself so it wasn't so head-on) and tell him what grave sin I had committed.

The Father was an amazing and gracious, God-filled, man +

I bring all of this back up for one reason:  okay, maybe two.  Sure, I'm overdue to go!  I think the larger intent, tho, is this one:  I was overwhelmed, overburdened, overgrieved - BUT I WAS NOT GOING TO GO WITHOUT A SACRAMENT, NO MATTER HOW HARD THAT WAS GOING TO BE ON ME!!!  Lessons remembered on this "it's still raining out?!" morning:

That was hard, but I did it.  A 'sober memory', as they call it - a 'hard memory'.  Hey, if I did that, mebbe I can do other hard things - like packing in this short timeframe ....

I wasn't missing out on something Sacred and Holy I needed in my life!  Lesson learned - won't the end of all of this rigermole be the holiness of going back home, after all???  

Yes, that cabinet drew me in, and I, Jeannee, thank the God of my understanding, for it +   JMJ 

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Mob Wives didn't do it

Ahhh ... rough day - my Myndie's birthday today ... and then, you know, I tend to do this dumb thing when I'm already feeling pulled down - yeahhh, I went on someone's social networking page and got myself even more depressed ... c'mon, Jean!  pull yourself outta this!  OH, I KNOW!!!

After rooting around on several websites, I figured - Mob Wives is the ticket!  They sound like me and I'll see familiar places, too :)  

Only the Mob Wives didn't do it, and I'll tell you why --

Two wives had a problem with each other.  They got into a loud arguement ... that then became an "oh my God I'm the cameraman but I have to jump in here!" pushing, hair pulling, knock over furniture, actual physical FIGHT! ... but then, you know what happened, in the end?

As the kids say nowadays, they hugged it out.  

None of this shit - I'm going to ask you to move here to my hometown and promise you the moon and help you do everything you can to get here, and then leave you stranded.  I'm going to send threatening texts and act like I'm in jr. high when we've been friends for nineteen years and oh yeah I happen to be an ordained minister.  We've been friends for 13 years but you don't do as I think you should so X friend to you, bubs, via email.  We've been friends for 9 years or so I let you think so but really I had a hidden agenda - I was running a scam, it just took me longer to latch you in.  We've been what you thought was a good friend but all of a sudden I unFriended you on Facebook.  Or I've just frozen you out in other ways because my agenda changed and suddenly you looked awkward in the new one - not, of course, that I gave you an opportunity - or wouldn't even allow you in, even tho it looked like we were going to be famous friends, so when you extended an invitation and said - hey, let's go here and do this! - you said "oh Jean I think you would enjoy that - call me sometime to let me know how it was for you".  Or you just stopped being present - you were suddenly too busy doing, as the old saying goes, "doing God knows what, with God knows who, at the God knows when, hour".

Yeah, I do have friends.  But not like I did - not like my life was for many, many years - drinking or sober chick, disabled or working for a living - I always had friends - all different types.  But over the past few years ... and did I even mention the "I'll believe the lies this person is saying about you, rather than ask you directly, and stop being your friend even tho we were so close" people?! or the "well if you're not going to our church, then" ....

Oh yeahhh.

As with other things, it amazes me that this is my life!  It amazes me that I've actually gotten cautious and wary - and even further amazes me that, even with all of that, that I actually allowed a few new people in - and - in some instances - I've been hurt all over again.  

I'm starting to feel like what one friend said years ago about another mutual friend: that I'm walking around like Eeoyre!  In fact, after I moved here, I deliberately bought an Eeoyre t shirt and I did wear it often!

I need to find that shirt, man.

I also need to stay out of online places that'll just hit the hurt again.  And think about what's coming up - that, even if I don't have an address - I'm going back East!  I get to see grandsons! and diners! and real pizza! and the ocean! and go to my parents graves! and meetings!

And see people who are still my friends.

Favorites "tag"

I saw this on someone else's blog, and I decided to tag myself ;)  I'm just feeling pulled down in several different areas right now ... so something light like this is the ticket :)

1. Clothes Shop:  Hmmm.  I don't really clothes shop anymore (broke!) but I would have to say Roman's, Lane Bryant, Dots.
2. Furniture Shop: Interesting question!  I honestly don't think I have one.  I do know that after my encounter in Ashley furniture, tho, I'm not likely to shop there again ;- (there black trucks should have been a warning, hey?!)
 3. Sweet: La Bonbonniere bakery in my hometown!  "Over the counter", Entenmann's is a strong contender, but there are always Devil Dogs (sigh - back East - Devil Dogs again!)
4. City:  Cities, plural.  South Edison (hometown) ; Manasquan (summer hometown, altho I have a sneaking suspicion its changed so much, I may not recognize it ;- ); Harrisonburg, Va. is a strong contender.
5. Drink: See #11!
6. Music: Depends.  I do like jazz and country, for example, but more so from the times they were strong in my life - like - if you put this on the radio now, I more than likely wouldn't recognize who was singing!  I like alot of the music Delilah plays, how's that!   And  Christian.7. TV-Series:  I'm very strong on cop shows BUT not one where the cop is a buffoon or a real jerk.  I like classic tv (nostalgia bites).  And drama - someone else's for a change!
8. Film:  Current strong fave's are classic horror:  Them! (ask me why my mother hated when this was on, when I was growing up, lol!) ; Deadly Mantis
9. Workout:  My biggest workout is trying to figure out how to survive on Social In-Security ;)
10. Pastries: See #3
11. Coffee:See #5!  LOL  I like regular coffee - nothing tarted-up - light and sweet, a couple of ice cubes so I don't burn my tongue.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

It's beyond me why people do what they do

Ok.  So we became friends online.  There are some people who don't think a virtual friendship is a "real" friendship, just like they don't think virtual AA meetings, are 'real meetings'.

Trust me - they're real.

Now, sure, I know all about the con's and the sicko's online - I've met my share (want email addresses?!).  But you, my friend, weren't like that.  You were real!  I know that because I followed you through social networking.  I know that because I became friends with your friends.  And I know that because you were everything a friend should be and because you reached through the screen and sent me God's love through your own hands!

Then, one day, you just unfriended me.  You froze me out. 

And I have no friggin' idea WHY.

Sure, sometimes friendships end, and we get it. 

But this is in the category of - I don't get it, I don't like it, I hurt, and it's building up that wall inside me, where now I'm even more afraid to get to know anyone.

Aren't you glad you contributed a brick?!

Saturday is the 15th

Saturday is my Myndie Ruth's birthday.  She passed two July's ago, but you know, I still look for her -especially more so that her sister of the heart, CoCo, has taken a page from Myndie's book and has really gotten into a pattern of sleeping in the closet, under my clothes!

I miss Myndie dearly!!!  I was packing the other day and came across photos of her, and it just stomped all over my heart. 

I know my focus should be on my closing date, and letting the bank know, and yadda yadda ... but really all I can think of is my beloved doggy!  My heart is heavy with her.

You ask how I remember HER birthday, when I'm so vague on most birthdays?!  My childhood best friend - that was her birthday.  Is, actually, but the good Lord only knows where she is - last I heard, she decided for whatever reason to recycle herself back to being the bad girl she was in junior high school, after a longterm successful adulthood, both marriage and career wise.  Yeah, I miss her, too ...

... and I miss my childhood, and times when I could weather anything, really, because I had more behind me backing me up instead of tripping me up!

But most of all ... CoCo and I miss Myndie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

That "hour" is fast approaching .....

I was just sharing online in another venue that I'm trying to hold on to the faith that at the 11th hour God is going to pull through a miracle - give us a street address, a decent, safe, accessible, home that I can actually afford because it will be hung on my actual income and not a previously decided level of income according to the govt of what is "low-income" ....

I do believe.  I do have faith!  But

As I was eating my tuna fish sandwich breakfast, what also came up was the fear I have been fighting, the one I don't want to face:  if I say that the God of my understanding is with me, and said God shall provide me a decent home, where I can display things and have if not my couch than my bed in there and some kitchen items ...

... am I not also saying that this God is not 'for' those who are homeless???  Because, without a place to live, that's what CoCo and I are.

I know that my God will be with us if we are on the journey of homelessness AND

I don't want to be on that dammed journey of homelessness, thank you very much!!!  

That proverbial 11th hour is fast approaching

and I for one am holding on like that hanging strip you use to mount a picture, that rips the dammed wallpaper off when you try to remove it!!!

Crosses Vandalized, Pro-Lifers Pelted with Feces

Crosses Vandalized, Pro-Lifers Pelted with Feces

An extremely sad commentary on our times.

Friday, October 7, 2011

As the fellow blogger said - "OMG, got so much going on y’all!"

Excuse my lack of posting here!  My house has sold - fast, fast, fast, yes it has! - and I am literally in a sea of boxes - AND DUST!  Choking, cloying, making me cough and breathe funny, dust.  Had no idea that the house had gotten this bad - i.e. I was dusting the front of the bookshelves, didn't realize you actually need to pull the books off, shake out the pages, and scrub the whole shelf ;-  Anyway ... that's me, and where I've been.  I'll try to stay on as long as I can, of course, but eventually the computer will have to be wrapped up ....

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Tears for a missed birthday? or is it ... more than that???

I hate when things update themselves on the computer and you have no notice, and, worse, no say in it!  Facebook is the most sticky contender - but this new automatic Firefox download isn't too much better, either, taking away my "most visited" tab that I used alot, making the use of the computer as something much more labor-intensive - which isn't that the opposite of the way its supposed to be, ferchrissakes?!  Now - that FB updating - it too has made their website very confusing, hard to navigate and figure out - and I don't think I'm getting updates, either, like birthday notifications (it probably is, just in a place and in a way they haven't told me about and I would never think to look under or in there!) so when I did log on today I was upset to realize that it was a dear friends birthday!!!  Yes yes I'm infamous for not remembering birthdays - which is why I thought the FB notification of such was a measure of success - grr, FB!

 Alright ... that said ... reading about her birthday celebration made me cry ... the type of crying where I have to walk away from it all for a few minutes and have a good one.  You see, she went out to a very special dinner with six members of her family.

Now, as I said - this is a friend who many, many times over the years, we've connected in a way that she is 'a sister from another mother' -- so I know the bullet list :  not all of these family members seated there are like frosting on the pastry!  Yet here's the deal:  they showed up at the table to wish her Happy Birthday, didn't they?!

So at a time when I'm walking around bewildered as to how my life became the way it has turned out (didn't we put a big fat goose in the oven?  well, then - how come u r pulling out a cinnamon bun, ferchrissakes?!!) I'm also bewildered, and disease-angry, that certain family members have not stuck around, been present and accounted for, with me, left me high and dry, and that I not only spend birthdays by myself - I spend far, far too many days unnested.  

I suppose if I were much younger, and healthy, and could put on a happy beaming face, and were so inclined, I could go out there and find and create my own, new family ... but I'm too tired, too broken, too sad.
Tears, indeed!