Sunday, March 31, 2013

Broccoli thoughts on Easter ....

My mind has gone through many! Easter memories approaching this holiday, but the one that is forefront in my thoughts right now is the broccoli story, and it doesn't even involve this day! ....

You have to understand one of these unwritten but observed! family rules I had in my family of origin, that also applied to me, when I started working:  you NEVER, EVER called anyone when they were at work unless what you had to say involved blood ... an ambulance and/or something w/ sirens ... in today's parlance, I would say 'domestic terrorism' - in other words - something so alarming, so out of the ordinary, something that definitely classified as a real emergency! 

So naturally my father was quite shaken when - during his workday - he was told:  "Your wife is on the phone, Art"! 

I think I was right around 4, 5? when this happened ... my mother had started to prepare dinner and - I hated broccoli.  It was one of the few foods that this fat little foodie kid here, had a temper tantrum about, and - just seeing my mother prepare it - I was already throwing a fit!

I guess it was just a day that I got on my mother's last nerve ;-  She actually called my father at work, described the problem, and said, "Arthur, she likes YOU best!  So by the time YOU drive home, figure out a way to get her to eat it - goodbye!!!

Oh-kay ...

My father, bless his heart, actually did just that!  So here is my Dad story, about broccoli, that happened on just another 'ordinary' weeknight:

He looked at me with great seriousness as we sat down to dinner - "Jean, you like spinach, right?"  I nodded with enthusiasm.  Maybe it was the Popeye cartoons, but I loved it!  Dad nodded and leaned forward, "Do you know what broccoli is?  Broccoli is the brother of spinach!"

My mother was now looking across the table at him like 'he's gone mad, I tell you!'

Dad continued in this serious vein, "So, therefore, if you don't eat his brother, spinach will be mad."

Oh!  I didn't want spinach to be mad, now!

I did, in fact, eat my broccoli!  Never liked it until I discovered pasta salads as an adult, BUT

I always, always remembered Broccoli's Brother

and my beloved Dad <3

Thursday, March 28, 2013

In Search of A Soul: Co Parenting with a Sociopath: Teaching a Child that God is a Bad Guy: Are Sociop...

In Search of A Soul: Co Parenting with a Sociopath: Teaching a Child that God is a Bad Guy: Are Sociop...: Warning: CONTAINS RELIGIOUS CONTENT! I believe wholeheartedly in compassion and tolerance. It is not our place to force our moral judgmen...

Jessy, her daughter, & Cody

Jessy is one of the bubbly young waitresses here at Ray's Diner in town.  She has a 5 year old daughter (from a previous relationship) and even tho I don't know about this part, I'm pretty sure Mom and daughter were making big plans for Easter WHICH THE VERY NEXT DAY IS THE DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY!!!  Can you imagine how excited this child had to be?!

Had to.  Past tense.  Because this little girls life has suddenly altered ...

Jessy had a boyfriend, named Cody ... and like good ol' country people like to do, Jessy & Cody went out for a ride together on Cody's ATV.

They wrecked.

Cody is gone, and Jessy had to be airlifted to an advanced trauma center at the University of Virginia: she's critical -she's no better, but then again, she's no worse, say her friends, who are walking around in shock.

I'm walking around in shock!

It's one of these eternal questions that I still can't answer, that a friends mother asked me in anguish when her daughter died way too young - Jeannee, why her and not me?!  I've lived my life - she has a son to raise!

I don't know ... honest to God, this one I don't have an answer to!!!  Jessy should be, you know, running orders, getting ready for her daughter's big day, enjoying her time with a guy she likes!  And Cody - here's a young man who may have just been considering "well now I'd have a readymade family right here" - which around these parts is usually considered a good situation ...

For everyone involved, I'm simply asking for prayers, please!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My blue coat

The long blue winter coat that I wear - it has a whole story connected with how it came to be : a life event  that I can use to lead several stories:  a good Dad story; a religious story; an acceptance story --

-- but last night it 'grew' another story .... one that hits into the whole sensitivity issue that a dear blogging friend, Lauren, of "" has recently written about (she's an excellent writer! I would definitely put her blog in the category of 'more than just another fashion blog'!) ...

I walked into 7-11 and there was a cashier who isn't usually "on" too much - so when she saw me, she was very excited!  WHERE DID YOU GET THAT COAT?!  Apparently she is having great difficulty in finding a woman's full-length, to the back of your knees, winter coat in women's sizes:  they aren't showing them, except for what she referred to as "offline", and not being an 'offline' shopper, she is wary of something she can't physically try on ...

In talking about it (Burlington Coat Factory, up in NJ; my Dad bought it for me, and isn't THAT a story!), I realized that this coat was purchased in

1998 (circa).

The cashier was very complimentary about how its held-up and etc, while meanwhile I was standing there making a cuppa coffee feeling like I was looking down the wrong end of a periscope --

15 years ago?! 

It really has been 15 years since my Dad was able-bodied (and able-minded!) enough to walk around with me?!

It fed into another conversation I had last night, also ... a conversation I've been having in different aspects, with different people, in different venues:  that I haven't really felt - well - for lack of a better term! - bulletproof -- meaning that no matter what happened to me, what I did, what I got myself into -- someone had my back.  Actually, several someone's had my back ... but my Dad most of all <3

Dad at one time said he didn't understand people anymore ... that he always felt I would - could - should! - meet someone, fall in love, and then that person would be someone my Dad, my parents, could 'turn me over' to, in complete confidence, that I would be as unconditionally loved, and protected, and never be out there all by myself in the world, as my parentage (especially Dad!!!) did for me --

And That Never Happened

And that wrong end of the periscope feeling?

That's about feeling that I am further and further away from knowing what that's like in an everyday basis.

Will I ever experience that again ... this side of Eternity?!!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

(Sucked into?!) "The Shield"

I am, most definitely, a crime buff:  true crimes, police shows, English mysteries ...

... of the more modern-day, gritty reality in a "dammed dirty old city" shows - Hill Street Blues was the first one that I remember in that genre that stuck to me, became part of me - the vocabulary, the episodes, the characters ... The absolute #1 of all time (in my humble opinion) will always be "NYPD Blue", with my tv boyfriend, Andy Sipowicz, who always stepped out in style, spoke in Andy-isms, and dammit it to hell, came back each and every single time you thought he was counted out! ....

I watched "The Wire" enough to follow it, enough to recommend it to someone who enjoyed it, too - but eventually it just hit me as a very dark show - one that turned my head around backwards and inwards, to a very depressed place, a hole it would suck me into - and that's not good for me!  As someone recently said to me about such dark shows - "No, no, Jean!  Go w/ The Six Million Dollar Man!" - nostalgia, innocence, a ending where all the characters find something to laugh about ... and I've done that, and shall continue to do so, with many shows in that genre! ... But about those dark police shows --

I was afraid of "The Shield" when I realized (dashing through Wiki entries) what it was - and where it could take me emotionally ... so for quite a while now - seeing it pop up on Hulu, and Amazon -- it wasn't something I thought I should be "as close as to give a kiss to" next to the computer screen, watching it ...

And then

I did

You can even say -- I binged.  Beginning to end the poor dog didn't even get to sit outside with me on this nice day and I didn't get too much sleep last night because

I. Just. Had. To. Finish!  This was a show that gripped me like adjustable to fit in the waistline pants!!! and especially in more recent tv shows - with there emphasis on the dead, the undead, the sucking (vampires as well as soft porn) - there is, sadly!, very few shows I can say THAT about ;-

YES - dark, alot to pull this lady blogger here into the spot that "The Wire" did BUT --

Even tho it was quite dark, quite intense, not one you could be caught snoozing thru!  ( there were even times I had to go back because I didn't quite catch what was said )  there were other parts to this show that captivated me -- and -- in no particular order:

The interiors of people's living spaces & there varying styles of decor.

Dutch Wagenbach:  a tv boyfriend, yes! someone I wouldn't mind AT ALL sitting around in my pajamas in the morning over coffee discussing his profiling and crime knowledge!

How deeply there lies and deceptions affected even peripheral people - especially the children!  I wrote a little bit about the Macky kids, post Witness protection, before the show even swam out to that buoy, and I want to work on that some more (errr -- after I rest!).

The friendships in here: both the kind of friendships that lead you to the bad places (i.e. The Strike Team), as well as the sustaining ones (i.e. Dutch & Claudette).
I know I want to go back and watch this all over again - for at least the reason that each episode has a theme name and I like to try to see if I can 'catch' all the references to that title :) 

I know I have email, other shows, YouTube videos, and people who are wondering if I'm off frolicking somewhere ;) , to catch up on first!  And sleep!  let's not forget THAT SMALL DETAIL (zzz) ;)

I did recognize one thing missing here, tho:  someone to watch the show with - a person you sit down and watch the show with every week, and you have your own cozy place, and lines in the show, and shared looks, and long conversations, about what you're watching ... CoCo doesn't really watch tv - in fact, she doesn't like alot of sirens and gunshots !

If this was one of 'your shows', I'd love to hear what you thought about it!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Imprisoned in my Bones: Mary, Untier of Knots

Imprisoned in my Bones: Mary, Untier of Knots: Mary, Untier of Knots Early in the morning I was rushing to great dressed while keeping one eye on the clock hoping that I wouldn'...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The chronicles of an eccentric: Sydney Love Vintage Show

The chronicles of an eccentric: Sydney Love Vintage Show: Over the weekend was the  Sydney Love Vintage fair ! These fairs are always a highlight in the Sydney vintage scene, but this one was extra...

Friday, March 15, 2013

MIS PAPELICOS: Currently Loving / Encantada con

MIS PAPELICOS: Currently Loving / Encantada con:                  Dolce & Gabbana  A/ W 2013-2014 Collection                                                             ...

Saturday, March 9, 2013

My neighbor & friend, Johnny

I am so drained, I feel like I went around w/ Dracula!, I kid you not! ...Look - finally getting out of the snowbank I was plowed into today, I did make it down to the hospital to see my next-door neighbor & friend, Johnny, and feeling bad I hadn't gotten there earlier in the week - after all, they pulled him outta here last Sunday! - and knowing he wasn't good -- but not realizing how bad was bad, either --

The very short form is that he had untreated pneumonia which led to BOTH  a heart attack & a stroke -- a stroke that has taken his ability to talk, to walk, and to control his bowels ...He's 61 years old, had a rough stretch of the last few years between an on-the-job injury that ended his working career and a divorce he was gobsmacked by, and just last week, we were having a conversation about -- well, it was just last week, after all! and NOW ;-

I was able to coax a smile out of him (several, in fact) and even got him to work with the physical therapist in trying to regain his ability to sit up on the side of a bed ... and I saw on the whiteboard nurses notes - he's not eating much and practically has to be hand-fed - apparently he has use of his hands and arms - he's just too sick, overwhelmed, and depressed, to want to do feed himself ...

On the QT, I was told he'll never be able to live independantly again, drive his truck -- I imagine the person would have put playing his banjo in there, too, if he knew about it! 

Then again - very dire predictions were made about my mother when she had her stroke - and she lived another 12 years! and did regain some ability - alot more than they said she would!!! 

I'm looking at this, and I'm praying about it, and here are my thoughts right now:  I took care of my Dad, and it about finished me - not that I wouldn't do it again! - for my Dad.  I don't think I have it in me anymore - and, honestly, if one visit (which yeahhh comes w/ a 32 mile drive) makes me this tired --

-- but I tell you what:  I can time it better and get it around his mealtime, and maybe I can encourage him to eat like he should. 

And, even more importantly than that,

remind him he's got a friend in this world

yeahhh, I can do THAT!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Fashion I DON'T want delivered to my email, ty!

I've been a true crime buff since I was a little girl and yeahhh how that all started is a story in and of itself! -- Suffice it to say, just about any way one human being can shed blood of another, I've read, researched, and///or watched on the small screen!  From that comes a first cousin: the tv shows about having been stalked, or disappeared, or surviving impossible odds, like so --

-- and in one of these I found the story of a decent, good woman - a single parent -- whose very unusually-named daughter got involved with a predator ... who ran away from home to be with him ... who of course couldn't get too much help from the law, even tho this was a juvenile, because of the caseload ... who basically did her own detective work and when she found where they were  holed up, she called the law, who swooped in and arrested the guy ...

-- and very sadly this didn't become a homespun tale of mother & daughter reunited -- oh sure the mother was more than willing to work through the issues, go to counseling, whatever it took -- but the daughter could only see the benefits of belonging to the creep : she moved in with HIS mother and essentially turned her back on her own, having at best a strained relationship, instead going through her sisters to communicate, when she did so at all ...

So I am sitting here at a time when the so-called "great outdoors!" has gone into "let's have a BLIZZARD!" mode, websurfing, and I see that someone has a fashion blog w/ this same first name!

So, ok, I go in to check ... oh yes!  I would know that face anywhere!  At least now she's in college, is engaged to be married, dresses very well (more on that later!) ... and in her "about me" she declares her love for her siblings, but nothing about the devoted mother who rescued her from a life of hell ...

If you're still using your mother to wipe your feet on - if you're still carrying the grudge of a 13 year old girl, in the body of a 20-something woman - I definitely DO NOT want YOUR fashion, however much I like it!, delivered to my email - no thanks!!!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Atlanta Resident Freedom Wright Named Allstate Give Back Day Hero

Atlanta Resident Freedom Wright Named Allstate Give Back Day Hero

Never,EVER buy me a ticket to --

The Daily Prompt asks, "Is there a place in the world you never want to visit? Where, and why not?"

Anything 3d world - we are talking no sanitation, where I am in grave physical danger of my life 'just' by dint of being female and being a Christian!  Where temperatures reach triple digits every. single. dammed. day! so that you feel like a piece of ground beef sitting on aluminum foil in a dish in your oven!!!  

Today In History

March 3, 1991
Motorist Rodney King was severely beaten by Los Angeles police in a scene captured on amateur video.

I could hear my mother's raised, distinctly Brooklyn, voice as soon as I opened the back door - oh, Gaaad!  She was mad as hell and verbally trashing - well, it had to be my father!  There were generally two targets of her anger:  me and my Dad.  Feeling guilty as hell for leaving him alone, I ran up the couple of stairs into the kitchen and

Ran right into my Dad ;-

"She's not yelling at you?!" I was stunned

 He was equally stunned.  "No!  She's on the phone!  WITH HER BROTHER!"

"NO WAY!" I yelled at my father - my mother's brothers - well it's all part of a much longer story that I'm not going to go into right now, but -- suffice to say THIS:  the sun rose and set on them - there is no way in the world she would be --


I stood in the opening between dining room and living room, staring at my mother sitting in her usual chair SCREAMING AND TRASH TALKING like I was seeing a pod burst open with an alien creature - and - I essentially was! because I had never, EVER seen her talk on the phone to her brothers LIKE THAT!

My Dad couldn't help:  he had been napping, if I remember correctly, and awakened by the YELL

When she got off the phone, I (bravely!) ventured forward -- "Mom?  Mom, WHAT HAPPENED?!!"

I couldn't even imagine!!!

My Mom had been sitting in her burgundy recliner with the cane inserts along the sides ("it gives your body good air - yeah, Jeannee!")  watching tv and rolling her therapeutic thing that basically looked like silly-putty, that she had used since her stroke a decade ago, which worked out the muscles in her hand and sat on the little table next to her chair, which also held the phone and her water, that she drank out of a measuring cup ...a very normal, typical day for her, in her housecoat and shell-pink lipstick and 80s oversized round glasses... and the Rodney King video rolled into her suburban living room --

Three of her brothers were retired LAPD.  She called one now, screaming and yelling -- YOU GANGED UP ON HIM!  HE WAS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND YOU CONTINUED TO HIT HIM!!!  --

Now, I've cleaned that up (TREMENDOUSLY!) but that was the jist of it :  my mother was outraged and triggered, from her own earlier life -- a life of deprivation and abuse that she had shared w/ her brothers as they were all growing-up -- 

And maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, and maybe she wouldn't have yelled so long and so hard IF my uncle had only said -- "Gee, Steph, that's outrageous!  That's rare!  Those are rogue cops!"

He didn't.  He didn't see anything wrong with it.  Possibly, he may have even admitted to doing the same ;-

Here's what really stuck with me that day, and has stuck with me ever since:  My mother saw a wrong.  She got upset and talked about it to someone - and not 'just' someone : someone who was in the same pool where this happened.  And the person essentially told her to get over it, go fly a kite.  AND MY MOTHER DIDN'T BACK DOWN, OR CHANGE HER MIND, OR MAKE NICE:  SHE STAYED TRUE TO HER  GUT FEELINGS.

Thanks, Mom <3

So, yeahhh ... I surely remember this (and not just for seeing him on Dr.Drew, either!) - for this, and for another incident that mebbe I'll share at another time .... God bless your soul; may you rest in peace, Mr King... and if there is a heaven, Mr King -- I hope you've met my mom!!! 

The Veil of Chastity won an award - congrats!

I'm a reader of the blog called "The Veil of Chastity", and today I read that she has won an award - congratulations!!!  The award itself has a German name and a whole meaning behind it, too.  Almost all of the questions are religious-based; she, in turn, nominated four other bloggers (not myself) and asked 11 questions of her own (again, almost all spiritually-based) and so it goes ...

I would personally love to tackle these questions on my own blog :)  However, like The Daily Prompt, it may just take me some time to get to them - at least today I have 'an excused absence' : my neighbor was taken away by ambulance this morning ;0  It looks heart-related, and all prayers are appreciated!!! ... Poor guy's in rough shape, obviously! - I'm just shaken-up -- so -- that said, let me tackle an easy-enough question that is NOT God-based :

"Is your refrigerator door clear or do you have stuff on it?"

Until the exterior stairs started really going bad, these apartments I would say were in decent-enough shape BUT had what I personally consider little niggling things - i.e. nothing I would go talk to the landlord about fixing, but little things like - there are supposed to be TWO bifold doors on the bedroom closet, not one!

And -- the bottom door shelf on the fridge is unuseable because it's cracked AND without a 'bar' to hold the items in ;(  

That said, the shelf above can hold the "smalls" (no chuckling, Brit readers ;) ), which, for me, consist of the following:

Cocktail sauce (Lent ... Fish Friday ... I have been VERY lazy, tho, and gone alot w/ pizza! - as well as --) Peanut butter & jelly; also, mayo (now, please!  I'm not Southern by birth (I just got here as fast as I could;)) which means I do NOT glop it all over everything and anything!  it is for tuna, and tuna only!!!)
Parmesian cheese
Italian dressing (because a neighbor gave me lettuce & that reminds me I should get into that again!)

How To Propose To A Rockette