"How Deep It Goes" ....

There was a song - I had it on a 45 at one time - I believe it was by Heart - which had an evocative, haunting lyric that sang "No one knows //// how deep it goes ..."  -- that's running through my head right now, as I sit down to type out this thing I want to blog about, so I figured it was a very appropriate title ...

Whenever I work on old resentments and anger and bitterness, I pretty much figure I'm starting with this century - with things that have happened to me over the past, say, half a dozen years ... then, on Weds, I found myself in a conversation with a woman who is at present going through something that I experienced in the 80s and earlier part of the 90s - and as I spoke to her, in a "yeahhh I've been there too sister let me tell you my experience!", I don't know if you could hear it in my voice? but I could feel it deep inside of me, and it was telling me this:

Jean, you have been embittered for a looong time now : its just more ingredients have been added to the soup.

WOW.  I don't even know what else to say ... I tried to ask myself last night that therapeutic question - "and so if you let go of the bitterness around this situation, what would you lose that you don't want to???" - but I couldn't even see the wisp of smoke of an answer. 

In other words:  I don't know how to look at these situations without grief, anger, frustration, and bitterness.

WOW.  I don't even know what else to say ...

Eerie Scenes From Classic NJ Shore Town Ravaged by Sandy

 Please note if you are going to try to watch this 20/20 special:  it's excellent BUT the Sandy piece is a little clip at the end, with alot of things like Kelly Ripa talking about it (who the hell wants to see HER?!) and just a precious little of Seaside currently - also, if you try to jump the video ahead, you have to see every single dammed advertisement.

Eerie Scenes From Classic NJ Shore Town Ravaged by Sandy: While the results of the presidential election have dominated the attention of much of the country, coastal communities like New Jersey’s Seaside Heights are in a world devoid of politics, still reeling from superstorm Sandy. Watch the full story on Seaside Heights and superstorm Sandy...

5 reasons why she's a Catholic

Jewish Catholic Simplified: My Worldview: I feel that's it's necessary at this point to clearly define my worldview/philosophy of life. Although I define myself as Catholic, I want...

‘VAGINAS WIN! VAGINAS WIN!’: Reductio ad Lady Parts

‘VAGINAS WIN! VAGINAS WIN!’: Reductio ad Lady Parts

CoCo's good deed!

It is 1.30 in the morning ... and CoCo wakes me up to go out (she taps her toenails on the linoleum in the kitchen -gets me every time!) ...

Hey, when you're 16 years old, sometimes (ok -alot of times!) you have to go OFTEN!

Ok.  I get up ... I put the lights on ... I walk to the living room ... I put on my sneakers; I put on my jacket; I put on her leash; and

CoCo is just lying there.

I'm talking - no enthusiastic tail-wagging door lunge - in fact --

I open the front door and I'm standing there, and she's just laying there.  "C'mon, Coke!"  -- nothing -- and then --

And then my sugar started to crash.

Quickly, I got something in me to 'stem the tide'.  And I thanked her over and over again (with promises of more "Looks like hell!" meatloaf for Sunday) and

She let out a tired sigh and lay down on one of her blankets

After rescuing me

THANK YOU COCO!!!!

Union Beach, New Jersey devastated by Sandy | Video | 7online

Union Beach, New Jersey devastated by Sandy | Video | 7online

The "Seven"s (thx to "Hems for Her"!)

seven great things in your life.
1. CoCo sleeping at the front of my desk as I type this out
2. The computer on this desk, that connects me to the world

3. Pictures from my life & from my parents lives

4. Books (such a category includes magazines, of course!)

5. I have a vehicle that works well

6 & 7. The present location of my desk///where I live - specifically, this apartment complex as well as its geographical location - that I open the front door & see my beloved mountains, w/ trees like broccoli's

seven things you lack and covet.

1. F

2. A

3. M

4. I

5. L

6. Y

7. <3

 

 seven things that make you angry

1. Culture of death, and the amount of time it has gone on despite scientific evidence to the contrary!

2. Looking right in the face of ignorance (as happened in a particular group on Oct. 30, 2012)

3. Things I 'lack and covet'; sleeping alone in a queen-sized bed

4. Betrayal

5. Injustice

6. Alzheimer's disease

7. What being disabled is all about in this country!

 

seven things that you neglect to do.

1. Laundry

2. Cleaning out things from previous houses I lived in & paying through the nose! for storage fees because of it

3.  DMV

4. Mail

5.  Clearing up clutter

6. Cooking instead of snacking

7.  Looking pretty

 

seven worldly material desires.

1.  Clothes, especially w/ tremendous details that really reflect me, like that herringbone jacket I saw @ Rose's!

2.  Groceries

3.  Virginia lighthouse license plates - I envy just about everyone I drive past with these!

4. A  new mattress

5. Just give me 60 seconds @ Green Valley Book Fair ;)

6.  A w/d hookup in my apt, so I can sit at my desk on my computer while the wash goes through its gyrations 

7.  The appeal is still there, despite Hurricane Sandy: a home @ the Jersey Shore <3

seven guilty pleasures.

1. Napping
2. Eating outside of my own kitchen, so I don't have cleanup and so I see other persons

3.  Conversely, staying in my own four walls & not going out in the world!

4  Anything to do w/ the seaside! I bought seashells at the yard sale that runs in front of the movie house here, and have decorated my apt w/ them, and that's a guilty pleasure because I know if I just go through my boxes in storage, I have loads of this stuff, and didn't have to buy it !

5.  Certain very expensive groceries, like shopping at an opulent place like Martin's

6. Television 

7. Very expensive, you really should wait for paperback!, books; magazines, some of them, have the prices on them that paperbacks once had!!!

seven things you love about love

1. When it is compatible to live w/ someone under the same roof

2.  Laying in bed being stuck together and having to peel yourselves apart ;)

3. Kissing

4.  Touching///Massages///holding hands in plain sight

5.  Inside jokes

6.  Someone making your coffee & they know the amount of non-dairy creamer and ice to put in it

7.   Holidays