We Stand Tired And Tested
Our Hearts Resurrected
One Truth This Is What We Live And Die For
We Fight With Conviction
No Time For Excuses
One Life it's Our Only Chance
To Take A Stand
Make The Most Of Every Day You Live
Choose The Day It Just Might Be Your Last
No Regrets We Have No Time To Wait
Take Control Weve Got One Life To Live
We've Got One Life To Live
We've Got To Make A Change
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
here's my prayer for my darling
My daughter turns 30 this Friday, September 7th ... and my first and foremost prayer is that the prayers of her mom here, the so great a cloud of witnesses that are praying for her and pulling for her from above, and the people down here on earth who continued to pray for her, will remove from her life the things that run through and trample down her spirit, and her conscience, like rampant wild hogs ...
That - like the name of my new favorite footwear that I touted on this blog - she finds New Balance within her life!!!
That - whether or not she believes it - she is etched on my heart and my soul for each and every second she has had life on this planet - from the day I stood in that department store where I was then employed and realized I was pregnant, through to today - and that - here's my prayer : that she feels even a little bit of this, for her birthday ...
That in some future day, we can go out on her birthday for chinese food for mom and sushi for her ... with one of those spectacular desserts someplace that come with singing servers and maybe even sparklers! ...
And I pray, too, for my grandsons, whom I love, and for my grands in heaven with my Mom and Dad ...
That - like the name of my new favorite footwear that I touted on this blog - she finds New Balance within her life!!!
That - whether or not she believes it - she is etched on my heart and my soul for each and every second she has had life on this planet - from the day I stood in that department store where I was then employed and realized I was pregnant, through to today - and that - here's my prayer : that she feels even a little bit of this, for her birthday ...
That in some future day, we can go out on her birthday for chinese food for mom and sushi for her ... with one of those spectacular desserts someplace that come with singing servers and maybe even sparklers! ...
And I pray, too, for my grandsons, whom I love, and for my grands in heaven with my Mom and Dad ...
Why I was so Adamant ...
I had my intake this week, for counseling ... it was the visit where you go over your symptoms with an intake counselor, blah, blah, blah ... and I say it like that because I've been in and around the mental health system for more years than I care to think about, thank you! - and there's one part I was pretty adamant about:
I know what bipolar looks like - believe me, I've known at least two people up close and very personal with this illness. I know what schizophrenia looks like - ditto how I know that. And
I'M NEITHER OF THOSE.
Really! I know what I've got : depressions that come back; general anxiety disorder that if I allow it to go on without treatment, it becomes agorophobia ....
My concern is this: I don't want to be misdiagnosed - and wrongly prescribed! - because that can make me very ill and - let's be honest: it follows you around the mental health system ...
Just a few minutes ago, I was up on a web page of - well let's say an acquaintence ... actually, at one point, she was a pretty good, f2f, friend - there were times of coffee and hanging out and times of getting through rough patches that life dealt us, and times of being around when she played cards with this whole group of people that included my then-husband (don't get me wrong - I love cards! and I would love to find someone to play cards with! but poker isn't my forte) ....
And so when I saw her write about being bipolar, I revolted.
Sure, sure - maybe something happened in the intervening years?
Well ... I think not.
She was already well past the age where a sudden mental illness crops up ... and unless she had some severe shock between then and now (I've known of at least one person who had a severe blow and it set off something she never had before) --
She believes it, apparently, as does her family. So I guess we're all supposed to get on this bus?
I won't.
Because I'd seen her over the period of a good number of years and
Nope.
She's on the wrong dammed bus!!!!
I know what bipolar looks like - believe me, I've known at least two people up close and very personal with this illness. I know what schizophrenia looks like - ditto how I know that. And
I'M NEITHER OF THOSE.
Really! I know what I've got : depressions that come back; general anxiety disorder that if I allow it to go on without treatment, it becomes agorophobia ....
My concern is this: I don't want to be misdiagnosed - and wrongly prescribed! - because that can make me very ill and - let's be honest: it follows you around the mental health system ...
Just a few minutes ago, I was up on a web page of - well let's say an acquaintence ... actually, at one point, she was a pretty good, f2f, friend - there were times of coffee and hanging out and times of getting through rough patches that life dealt us, and times of being around when she played cards with this whole group of people that included my then-husband (don't get me wrong - I love cards! and I would love to find someone to play cards with! but poker isn't my forte) ....
And so when I saw her write about being bipolar, I revolted.
Sure, sure - maybe something happened in the intervening years?
Well ... I think not.
She was already well past the age where a sudden mental illness crops up ... and unless she had some severe shock between then and now (I've known of at least one person who had a severe blow and it set off something she never had before) --
She believes it, apparently, as does her family. So I guess we're all supposed to get on this bus?
I won't.
Because I'd seen her over the period of a good number of years and
Nope.
She's on the wrong dammed bus!!!!
LanaIndiana: How to be a Widow
LanaIndiana: How to be a Widow: *sigh* Who would ever want to purposely write about this crap? Certainly not me. I am no expert. I know how to be a wife. I know how to be...
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
I take it to my own blog, bahbee ...
About a year ago now? I was quite taken aback when one of the beauty guru's on YouTube talked about a hate site that was trashing her - not that I didn't believe her! but it just sounded - no way!
Way. Gossip guru, and it's pretty darned raw, in places ....
Ours is a society drenched in trash talk and yet - I didn't get it. For a looong time, I didn't get it. I mean - if you don't like a particular beauty guru - can't you just hit the unsub button, for pity's sakes?! I've done that with several that just crossed the wrong line in what content I want to see. And that's that.
Until today.
Today, I almost - I caught myself about to register to post. Thankfully, I caught myself! Because I don't need the community validation to know that someone was snarky and rude and
I have my own blog, thank you ;)
There is a cute young blonde guru who goes by the name Pinkhoneybeee. Ok, I admit it: when I'm stressed out, when I'm tired and in pain and can't sleep - I like to watch these young women have the wonderful lives they do! To try to think of myself in there shoes ... or my daughter, because she's usually closer to there age than I am ...
So, a few moments before, I went to watch one of her videos. She was giving a product review. I had a problem w/ the review : the music would blow you out of your seat - so you'd turn it down and then you couldn't hear it ;- And that was what I put in the comments. No trash talk, nothing bad - simply that I wanted to watch it but the audio was giving me a problem.
Almost immediately, I heard back from pinkhoneybeee ... and her comment was snarky and rude. And almost brought me to the doorstep of the trash talk guru gossips. Here's what she wrote:
"Hmm? I don't think it was hard to follow. This is a review & it's pretty self explanatory! My music is a part of my intros & that's not going to change. I'm not a quiet person & I definitely wasn't quiet in this video nor any other video i've done. It must be your computer because no one else seems to have that problem hearing or understanding me... You should get a Macbook pro.. All your hearing and understanding problems would be solved :)"
And how much is Macbook pro paying you for your promotion, hmmmm???? And has anyone else in your life (especially considering you work in a public position - she's a dental hygene person) considered you rude and/or disrespectful, hmmmm????
I've unsubbed. And, the power of the blog, bahbee, the power of the blog ....
Way. Gossip guru, and it's pretty darned raw, in places ....
Ours is a society drenched in trash talk and yet - I didn't get it. For a looong time, I didn't get it. I mean - if you don't like a particular beauty guru - can't you just hit the unsub button, for pity's sakes?! I've done that with several that just crossed the wrong line in what content I want to see. And that's that.
Until today.
Today, I almost - I caught myself about to register to post. Thankfully, I caught myself! Because I don't need the community validation to know that someone was snarky and rude and
I have my own blog, thank you ;)
There is a cute young blonde guru who goes by the name Pinkhoneybeee. Ok, I admit it: when I'm stressed out, when I'm tired and in pain and can't sleep - I like to watch these young women have the wonderful lives they do! To try to think of myself in there shoes ... or my daughter, because she's usually closer to there age than I am ...
So, a few moments before, I went to watch one of her videos. She was giving a product review. I had a problem w/ the review : the music would blow you out of your seat - so you'd turn it down and then you couldn't hear it ;- And that was what I put in the comments. No trash talk, nothing bad - simply that I wanted to watch it but the audio was giving me a problem.
Almost immediately, I heard back from pinkhoneybeee ... and her comment was snarky and rude. And almost brought me to the doorstep of the trash talk guru gossips. Here's what she wrote:
"Hmm? I don't think it was hard to follow. This is a review & it's pretty self explanatory! My music is a part of my intros & that's not going to change. I'm not a quiet person & I definitely wasn't quiet in this video nor any other video i've done. It must be your computer because no one else seems to have that problem hearing or understanding me... You should get a Macbook pro.. All your hearing and understanding problems would be solved :)"
And how much is Macbook pro paying you for your promotion, hmmmm???? And has anyone else in your life (especially considering you work in a public position - she's a dental hygene person) considered you rude and/or disrespectful, hmmmm????
I've unsubbed. And, the power of the blog, bahbee, the power of the blog ....
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