I am so drained, I feel like I went around w/ Dracula!, I kid you not! ...Look - finally getting out of the snowbank I was plowed into today, I did make it down to the hospital to see my next-door neighbor & friend, Johnny, and feeling bad I hadn't gotten there earlier in the week - after all, they pulled him outta here last Sunday! - and knowing he wasn't good -- but not realizing how bad was bad, either --
very short form is that he had untreated pneumonia which led to BOTH a
heart attack & a stroke -- a stroke that has taken his ability to
talk, to walk, and to control his bowels ...He's 61 years old, had a
rough stretch of the last few years between an on-the-job injury that
ended his working career and a divorce he was gobsmacked by, and just
last week, we were having a conversation about -- well, it was just last
all! and NOW ;-
I was able to coax a smile out of him (several,
in fact) and even got him to work with the physical therapist in trying
to regain his ability to sit up on the side of a bed ... and I saw on
the whiteboard nurses notes - he's not eating much and practically has
to be hand-fed - apparently he has use of his hands and arms - he's just
too sick, overwhelmed, and depressed, to want to do feed himself ...
the QT, I was told he'll never be able to live independantly again,
drive his truck -- I imagine the person would have put playing his banjo
in there, too, if he knew about it!
Then again - very dire
predictions were made about my mother when she had her stroke - and she
lived another 12 years! and did regain some ability - alot more than
they said she would!!!
I'm looking at this, and I'm praying
about it, and here are my thoughts right now: I took care of my Dad,
and it about finished me -
not that I wouldn't do it again! - for my Dad. I don't think I have it
in me anymore - and, honestly, if one visit (which yeahhh comes w/ a 32
mile drive) makes me this tired --
-- but I tell you what: I
can time it better and get it around his mealtime, and maybe I can
encourage him to eat like he should.
And, even more importantly than that,
remind him he's got a friend in this world
yeahhh, I can do THAT!