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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

@ Community Services Board

Yesterday I went in to the local CSB affiliate, to have my intake for counseling appointment ...

Now, let me say something right here:  I am a person who has been in therapy off and on since I was 16 years old (and had some really excellent therapists who talked to me like I actually had a brain); I have discussed therapy-type issues with a number of friends since that time; and I've read extensively in the field.  I'm not talking so much pop psychology - I'm talking non-fiction books, even medical journals (and naturally websites).  I've even read the diagnosing manual!  And I've been in enough 12-step meetings (since 1988) where I've certainly heard just about everything under the sun in this category (a marriage counselor who can't stay sober AND who has a rocky marriage, for example ...). 

So I know what I've got going on ... and I know w/ my anxiety disorder, I'm in what they call an avoidant stage, where I simply avoid as much as I can, to quell the anxiety.

I did not care for it when the intake therapist called it (twice!) procrastination!  Such a word smacks of someone who is lazy, and that's another word that just makes my skin crawl!

I didn't correct him because (a) he seemed like he was having enough of his own problems there (another story, that one) and (b) to be honest - I don't see myself getting "real therapy" there - which actually is fine with me!  I'm too emotionally exhausted w/ no trust to be dredging up my life again - and - by going to there group therapy sessions, it shall keep me on meds - which is what I really NEED

to become less AVOIDANT.

1 comment:

  1. I'm going to swot up on this "avoidant stage" - it sounds very interesting and pertinent to some of my family members. Lucky you're so widely-read, you can spot a useless counsellor/therapist a mile away. It takes me ages to feel like I can use them or lose them. Big hugs xo