I hate when things update themselves on the computer and you have no notice, and, worse, no say in it! Facebook is the most sticky contender - but this new automatic Firefox download isn't too much better, either, taking away my "most visited" tab that I used alot, making the use of the computer as something much more labor-intensive - which isn't that the opposite of the way its supposed to be, ferchrissakes?! Now - that FB updating - it too has made their website very confusing, hard to navigate and figure out - and I don't think I'm getting updates, either, like birthday notifications (it probably is, just in a place and in a way they haven't told me about and I would never think to look under or in there!) so when I did log on today I was upset to realize that it was a dear friends birthday!!! Yes yes I'm infamous for not remembering birthdays - which is why I thought the FB notification of such was a measure of success - grr, FB!
Alright ... that said ... reading about her birthday celebration made me cry ... the type of crying where I have to walk away from it all for a few minutes and have a good one. You see, she went out to a very special dinner with six members of her family.
Now, as I said - this is a friend who many, many times over the years, we've connected in a way that she is 'a sister from another mother' -- so I know the bullet list : not all of these family members seated there are like frosting on the pastry! Yet here's the deal: they showed up at the table to wish her Happy Birthday, didn't they?!
So at a time when I'm walking around bewildered as to how my life became the way it has turned out (didn't we put a big fat goose in the oven? well, then - how come u r pulling out a cinnamon bun, ferchrissakes?!!) I'm also bewildered, and disease-angry, that certain family members have not stuck around, been present and accounted for, with me, left me high and dry, and that I not only spend birthdays by myself - I spend far, far too many days unnested.
I suppose if I were much younger, and healthy, and could put on a happy beaming face, and were so inclined, I could go out there and find and create my own, new family ... but I'm too tired, too broken, too sad.
Tears, indeed!
Thanks for the comment on my blog! That is so funny your daughter has the same name.
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